I envy my husband being able to eat. I envy others feeling normal. I am hungry and everything looks nasty, smells nasty, and feels bad inside of me. Not very much is coming out of me....which is mostly why I feel so badly. I don't sleep. I am being ultimately tested in the kindness department, and I'm not doing "everything without complaining or arguing." (Phillipians 2:14)
I am glad I am pregnant. I'm glad to know another child will enter the family. I love kids, but I'm not so great at this pregnancy stuff. I saw Amy Puller last night on the Emmy's and thought of how big I will shortly be. I want to cherish this last pregnancy....but is it okay that I'm not really having a good time yet? I'm not really a fan of perky people right now, or cheerleader types. Mostly, I am tired of being tired and sick. I want to be doing better at school with Ella. I want to enjoy the first day of Fall. I want to remember this so I won't do it again. I will happily adopt more children, but it is so hard taking good care of my children now, whilst feeling so badly.
Sorry you had to hear this.
3 comments:
I wont be perky..trying not to smile.
I know what you are saying I was there just a few weeks ago..it amy FEEL like forever but in the large scheme of things it really isnt that long and--YOU GET A BABY!! The hardest trial of pregnancy for me is feeling that I cant take proper care of my children and feeling that it isnt fair to them. But they too get a baby and a friend for eternity.
We had sooo many dishes tonight. I was up washing them tonight after everyone else was asleep. Weird thing was, I was thinking about and praying for you. Is that creepy when I don't even actually know you?
No, I appreciate all prayers. I was up most of the night sick, and fretting, "Oh my I'm up...what will I do tomorrow sleepy?" Thank you for your kindness.
oh, i hear ya! Children are such a wonderful blessing...but I too had a tough time with the pregnancy part! Stick with it (as if you had any other choice) and know that in the scheme of your life...it is such a short time! xoxo
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