I envy my husband being able to eat. I envy others feeling normal. I am hungry and everything looks nasty, smells nasty, and feels bad inside of me. Not very much is coming out of me....which is mostly why I feel so badly. I don't sleep. I am being ultimately tested in the kindness department, and I'm not doing "everything without complaining or arguing." (Phillipians 2:14)
I am glad I am pregnant. I'm glad to know another child will enter the family. I love kids, but I'm not so great at this pregnancy stuff. I saw Amy Puller last night on the Emmy's and thought of how big I will shortly be. I want to cherish this last pregnancy....but is it okay that I'm not really having a good time yet? I'm not really a fan of perky people right now, or cheerleader types. Mostly, I am tired of being tired and sick. I want to be doing better at school with Ella. I want to enjoy the first day of Fall. I want to remember this so I won't do it again. I will happily adopt more children, but it is so hard taking good care of my children now, whilst feeling so badly.
Sorry you had to hear this.