Wednesday, March 28, 2012
We are headed to the place it all began. We are packing up the kids for a night in the mountains. We are taking them to the place our story originated. I vividly remember walking around the lake at Eagle Lake and seeing Jason walking with a lovely woman up to camp. I thought,"I forgot about him, but I need to pray that woman out of his life." It turned out that lovely woman was Jason's sister. Though I wouldn't encourage such praying today, it was certainly where I was, and it was the beginning of our story.
Posted by Mother of Many at 9:37 AM
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Psalm 46:10-11 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Posted by Mother of Many at 7:21 AM
Monday, March 26, 2012
Today has been a day of tears. This morning Jason called to tell me the news of our van. At first, I thought I could be reasonable. Then as I began cleaning the house, I became overwhelmed with the situation. I have felt overwhelmed by our medical bills and now our car dying. I called a treasured friend in tears wondering what lesson I was missing. I know I'm supposed to trust the Lord in all situations, but I really struggle in my own control (which is a farce). About an hour after the tears with my friend, a new friend pulled into my driveway with an almost an identical van (only difference is that their van is clean), to the van of ours that just died. He said drive it until you have a plan. I couldn't help but cry. I was overwhelmed with the generosity of this family, and cried in sadness over my own lack of trust. Maybe someday I will understand how much the Lord cares about my family, my heart, my big and small concerns, but today I get to repent of my weak faith. Thank you friends. Thank you for living near to Jesus in front of me. You have encouraged a discouraged sister this day. I'm truly humbled.
Posted by Mother of Many at 2:28 PM
Thursday, March 15, 2012
As our family was facing a tough situation last year, I clung to Mark 9. As I spent time reading the Bible in that season, I felt as though I could not move past that chapter. It was a wonderful comfort, as only God's word can be. It is the story of the boy with an unclean spirit. I love the tender care that Jesus shows the situation. The father of the boy is at the end of his options, sounding tired and desperate. Jesus asks the father questions he knows that answers to already. He cares for the father by allowing him the grace to tell his story. He understands the importance for the father to unburden himself to a person that truly cares. Jesus listens. Jesus asks questions. Jesus heals. This is the part I clung to in our tough season. Mark 921-24 And Jesus asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood. And it has often cast him into the fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." And Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' All things are possible for the one who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" And we all know how the story ends, but do we? Do we understand that we must face down our unbelief with Jesus near to us? Or do we live thinking Jesus cannot rescue us in our difficult situation? I have recently grown in fear of our mailbox. Yes, you read that right, I dread getting the mail. I am paralyzed by what I find inside. I should be rejoicing that I live in an excellent age of medicine that helped me when I was in need. I should be rejoicing in my healing and excellent prognosis concerning my heart problem. Instead, I crumble under the fear of our medical bills. I forget who owns everything. I forget the tender care of Jesus. Instead, I am convinced our major medical insurance is bogus and will leave us struggling for years. I hate my unbelief. I hate my faithless worry. I hate my sin struggle in this area. "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief." You are so good, why do I fret and lose my peace? Thank you for Your love! Thank you that you are enough. Thank you for loving me enough to walk near to me in my unbelief. Thank you for loving me enough to show me my sin. Would you please allow me to trust you with my moment of unbelief? And, as I watch the shepherd of my heart in this story, I am struck by the way he cares, even as he knows the answers to the questions. He knew this father and child before they were born. He had known their every step, every need, every thought before this day. He knew their struggle, and He knew He had a holy ordained appointment with a father and son in desperation,and that the appointment would bring great glory to God then and today. It did not come as a surprise to him. Therefore, as I shepherd and love those around me, do I employ this tender care? Do I ask questions I may already know that answers to in order to allow a burdened heart to be unburdened? Do I offer Jesus as the only answer to the heart sickness we all have? Do you? Good questions for me to pray through this beautiful spring day. Lastly, favorite reader, I'm sorry for my format. For some reason, blogger is not allowing my paragraph breaks. I hate reading this in one big clump, but alas, that is how it keeps coming out. I will soon be switching to a different host.
Posted by Mother of Many at 8:54 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I have, for so long, seen evangelism as meeting an unbeliever and sharing what it means to know Jesus. I'm realizing that sharing the complexities of my faith and love for Jesus is much more complicated. As I am currently in the community, I have had the opportunity to meet so many new people, believer and unbeliever alike. Today, especially, I have grown in thankfulness as Jesus brought two very different women in my life. I have the love of Jesus to share with believer and unbeliever alike. At the heart of evangelism, is sharing. I'm learning that is sharing life, sharing loneliness, and offering friendship and the truth of Jesus. I have found that so many in this town are lonely and longing for friendship. I feel grateful for the people I have met who have shared their loneliness honestly. It's a risk to admit a need for friendship. It is a risk to say hi to a stranger. I think as Jesus accepts us in our depravity, He joins us to Himself in community. I believe honest community is one of our greatest heart desires. I certainly do not have the corner on building community, but I do know loneliness. I do know that I long to be known. I want people not to just know the shiny, pretty places in my life, but the harder places in my heart. I long for community that will be honest with me in my ugly and point me to the Kind one. I feel so thankful for this day that brought two lovely women in my life. I have never deserved the kindness that was once shown to me by Michele, Jenny, and Mickey, but those women connected me to the God that has never left my community since the day I met Him, May 4, 1994. Thank you Jesus, You are the only cure for my loneliness. You are the One that gives me the grace to meet new people in new places. Thank you ladies that took the time to meet this simple believer today.
Posted by Mother of Many at 5:40 PM
A place to find encouragement to love your little ones, your husbands and those you come in contact with daily. Two does not have to be terrible. These are years to grow not simply get through!