Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Where is Kara?

I have totally neglected this site. Truthfully, I think I will for a time. My heart just isn't in it lately. I love to write, I love the blog world, but I'm just totally too empty too write lately. I'll explain, try not to complain, and wish you all a wonderful holiday.

Thanksgiving was difficult. My family in Indiana celebrated what probably will be my grandmothers last Thanksgiving. Something she and mom and I always worked hard on together. I knew we wouldn't go because Jason had no vacation remaining, but the sting of missing the time was deeply felt.

We had planned to lessen missing home with the arrival of Angela and Dana and the five kids. The joy this family brings us is limitless. We love and enjoy much chaos together on the holidays. I stocked the cupboards and was eager to enjoy the twins, the big kids andcook grandmas best recipes. That plan didn't happen when everyone except me came down with walking pneumonia. After we went to the doctor, Lake had a seizure in the car. I'm sure it may be common, but, for me, it was terrifying. I can still hardly talk about it without tears. If you have ever held a child who is not breathing you will understand. He is better now, but we couldn't risk the Weaver family getting the same illness with two little babies in the mix.

So, alone, I cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal, and everyone except me was too ill to even eat. Sickness and all I had so much to be thankful for with Lake home from the hospital and everyone slowly getting better....It was just a hard holiday.

My parents emptied my grandparents farm over Thanksgiving to make space for renters. My favorite place on earth is no longer what it once was. It lives in my mind, but knowing it isn't there anymore is difficult for my sentimental heart. My grandma (my hero) is failing. And though she is more than ready to go home to Jesus, I don't want her to go. My dad brought me special things from their house that I'm having a hard time living with.

So, dear reader, my heart is just too heavy these days to be much of a cheerful holiday writer. I'll leave it to the experts and do my best to not be grumpy through my sadness. I'll be back after Christmas.


Kathy Eller said...

i'm sorry Kara.

Tigerlilly said...

((Kara)) I hope and pray that you are doing better and that everyone else is on the mend. I've been there before and know the great disappointment of missing a family holiday, and the sorrow of a grandmother in her last days. I will pray for you in these coming days.

Did you know that Elisa's daughter Ella has febrile seizures? She may be a good one to talk to. She's learned a lot about them over the past few years.


A place to find encouragement to love your little ones, your husbands and those you come in contact with daily. Two does not have to be terrible. These are years to grow not simply get through!