Tomorrows..

I spend far too much time thinking about tomorrow. The future, the place we cannot know... The place my control cannot arrange. The endless tomorrow thinking can steal my peace like a dog under a high chair. Peace in the now is hard enough, when you add worry of the future, well you just add unnecessary sin in your life.

I know the truth. I know future thinking is wrong. I know when I imagine our future, it's a place I see myself absent of the grace the Lord has provided for me. Worry alone is wrong, but worry over the unknown is just plain silly.

If my days are numbered and the hairs on my head counted....then today I'm going to choose to live in today. Today, I'll snuggle, wash clothes, clean house for my guys arrival, cook a vegetable of two for my kids, and count the chub rolls on my babies legs. Who needs to worry about tomorrow when today is so full?

Audience of One

When I'm at the pool the one thing I am sure to hear at least one hundred times is, "Mama, watch this." "Mama, are you watching?" "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, did you see that?" At moments I love it, and frankly sometimes I struggle. Trying to keep kids safe (constantly counting to 4), have a semi-adult conversation (with someone who has her own, "hey mom watch me" gang), truthfully, watching a jump from the side for the 100th time can at times be unnerving.

That is until I am quietly in my bed thinking about my day. Praying about my grumpy mom heart and thinking how, for this season in my life, my kids crave my attention. They long for my approval and unconditional love and presence and they beam under my approval. So in the quiet I repent my grumpy heart that isn't excited about jump 123. Then the lord allows me to see the great gift I have in the now being totally present for the first dive, first can opener, first everything.

In the mundane moments of my life, I always have a choice....Allow the Holy Spirit to reign in my heart and attitude or let Kara reign. Today, this day, I'm striving to be there for jump 213 that is going to look like a crane truck but really just looked like jump 212. And I will be a thankful proud mama of that jump. Thankful for my kids, my husband who champions me being home, my saviour who loves my children far better than I ever could.

sOMETImes

Sometimes I don't potty for so long....I think it may not be good
Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the huge responsibility of being a mom
Sometimes I want to just play and not think
Sometimes I want to think and not talk
Sometimes I get sad about unkind people
Sometimes I want to be wildly eccentric
Sometimes I wonder what my life will be like when my children are grown
Sometimes I grieve that my kids are growing
Sometimes I just feel so blessed I cry

Bitter Sweet

I love the fourth of July. I always have. It's a time for too much sun and too little sleep. My childhood remembers long nights on the lake watching fireworks. The food, friends and fun always reminds me of time with family.

It's bitter sweet to me this year. I find myself walking a familiar path. This fourth will remind me of something I've lost and something I've gained. This time last year I was driving home from a visit to see my grandma. The trip ended at home in the yard with a friend watching fireworks.

This year I find myself in a different yard. My heart is saddened by this, but my family is strengthed this year in ways I never imagined. So thankful I enter this potato salad and sunscreen holiday....

hot sticky loveliness

endless play

night sky lights snuggled safely

sleep, don't come too soon