O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be;
let that grace now, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander-Lord, I feel it-prone to leave the God I love:
here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
This beautiful verse comes from one of my favorite hymns, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. Almost every time I come to this stanza I come to tears. I am so prone to wander, so easily distracted by myself, so easily frustrated by my circumstances. It certainly happens in a nano-second when it comes to parenting. One minute can be bliss and the next you find an entire box of Cheerios on the kitchen floor.
The parenting of toddlers is a very high calling. Before when I was "employed" there were many witnesses to my behaviour. Many encourager's of the time and effort I spent "working." Now, mostly my children, my husband and the Lord are my only witnesses. The high calling comes in the stewardship of the hearts of our children and the watchfulness of our own sinful hearts without an audience.
Ask yourself today, would you act like that in a "work" environment with others watching? If you were evaluated what would be said of you actions towards those you are to "manage"? Would those in your care know your heart of love for them? Parenting is much harder than employment, I don't care what your occupation. It's the hardest work I have ever done and the most rewarding as well. But we rarely take time to evaluate ourselves. We just live some days to get to the end of it. I think the Lord has much more for us in our parenting years than that!
I think the work without an audience is the most important we will ever do. No, I know it is. It is worth taking the time each day to evaluate our own hearts. Are they wandering? Are they hearts of anger? Do we need to begin today with repentance? Not for the performance, but for the souls of our children. What could ever be more worthy our time in examining our hearts than that.
Remember the encouraging word from James.... Come near to God and he will come near to you. Though we may wander, He never does.