Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Midnight Confessions of Not a Super Mom

Yes, it's late, no, I'm not sleeping. I'm awake, not sure why, but pondering all that I have to do and wondering if my plate isn't a bit too full. This all must sound very redundant and repetitive to all my readers.

This homeschooling thing is great and terrible, wonderful and exhausting, amazing and frustrating. It's what I've wanted and nothing I imagined. Mostly, I'm pregnant and tired, which, as you know, I didn't really factor into this year. Today I started Ella on a longish assignment and snuck into bed with Harper. What?

I read these blogs with women who have ten children, have a clean house, grind their own wheat for bread, and teach at home. Is a drug on the market I don't know about? How do they do it? I'm not sure that I can. Realizing this doesn't mean I'm a failure or that homeschooling is a terrible idea. I actually love it, but the limitations I foresee are in me. Tonight I'm realizing that maybe next year it may not be in the cards for this family. I have a little boy who needs time and patience to learn to talk and a new baby needing my whole being....in the middle of the night no less. I don't have family close willing to pitch in, and Jason does so much already. Tonight I'm ready to look at all our options.

So before I sneak off for a nap tomorrow, I'll be spending some time thinking about next year...maybe even next semester.


The Larsens said...

I'll be praying for you. I know what a big decision it must be for you, but you'll do what's right. I can't even imagine where you're getting the energy from to get through your days NOW, let alone once the baby's here. But it's about your family thriving, not just getting through, right?
And congratulations to BOTH of you on Jason passing his exams-- I know the wife at home works just as hard for it!
Love to you all....

Mother of Many said...

Thank you. It's time that I realized there is only a limited supply of mommy around here. It's hard for me to do that. I have learned a lot these past months.

MotherofFive said...

Nice to hear that others are not supermom. :) It is way overrated, I am sure. Glad to see you are back and sad to see you are tired. What a wonderful season you have had this semester with Ella at home and next season will bring new blessings for everyone also. It is about the special times you get with each child.
I am praying for you and your family.

Mother of Many said...

Thank you sister. I'm a proud momma. Difficult to admit defeat, even if it means a win for everyone.

A place to find encouragement to love your little ones, your husbands and those you come in contact with daily. Two does not have to be terrible. These are years to grow not simply get through!