Tears

Today has been a day of tears. This morning Jason called to tell me the news of our van. At first, I thought I could be reasonable. Then as I began cleaning the house, I became overwhelmed with the situation. I have felt overwhelmed by our medical bills and now our car dying. I called a treasured friend in tears wondering what lesson I was missing. I know I'm supposed to trust the Lord in all situations, but I really struggle in my own control (which is a farce). About an hour after the tears with my friend, a new friend pulled into my driveway with an almost an identical van (only difference is that their van is clean), to the van of ours that just died. He said drive it until you have a plan. I couldn't help but cry. I was overwhelmed with the generosity of this family, and cried in sadness over my own lack of trust. Maybe someday I will understand how much the Lord cares about my family, my heart, my big and small concerns, but today I get to repent of my weak faith. Thank you friends. Thank you for living near to Jesus in front of me. You have encouraged a discouraged sister this day. I'm truly humbled.

Unbelief

As our family was facing a tough situation last year, I clung to Mark 9. As I spent time reading the Bible in that season, I felt as though I could not move past that chapter. It was a wonderful comfort, as only God's word can be. It is the story of the boy with an unclean spirit. I love the tender care that Jesus shows the situation. The father of the boy is at the end of his options, sounding tired and desperate. Jesus asks the father questions he knows that answers to already. He cares for the father by allowing him the grace to tell his story. He understands the importance for the father to unburden himself to a person that truly cares. Jesus listens. Jesus asks questions. Jesus heals. This is the part I clung to in our tough season. Mark 921-24 And Jesus asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood. And it has often cast him into the fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." And Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' All things are possible for the one who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" And we all know how the story ends, but do we? Do we understand that we must face down our unbelief with Jesus near to us? Or do we live thinking Jesus cannot rescue us in our difficult situation? I have recently grown in fear of our mailbox. Yes, you read that right, I dread getting the mail. I am paralyzed by what I find inside. I should be rejoicing that I live in an excellent age of medicine that helped me when I was in need. I should be rejoicing in my healing and excellent prognosis concerning my heart problem. Instead, I crumble under the fear of our medical bills. I forget who owns everything. I forget the tender care of Jesus. Instead, I am convinced our major medical insurance is bogus and will leave us struggling for years. I hate my unbelief. I hate my faithless worry. I hate my sin struggle in this area. "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief." You are so good, why do I fret and lose my peace? Thank you for Your love! Thank you that you are enough. Thank you for loving me enough to walk near to me in my unbelief. Thank you for loving me enough to show me my sin. Would you please allow me to trust you with my moment of unbelief? And, as I watch the shepherd of my heart in this story, I am struck by the way he cares, even as he knows the answers to the questions. He knew this father and child before they were born. He had known their every step, every need, every thought before this day. He knew their struggle, and He knew He had a holy ordained appointment with a father and son in desperation,and that the appointment would bring great glory to God then and today. It did not come as a surprise to him. Therefore, as I shepherd and love those around me, do I employ this tender care? Do I ask questions I may already know that answers to in order to allow a burdened heart to be unburdened? Do I offer Jesus as the only answer to the heart sickness we all have? Do you? Good questions for me to pray through this beautiful spring day. Lastly, favorite reader, I'm sorry for my format. For some reason, blogger is not allowing my paragraph breaks. I hate reading this in one big clump, but alas, that is how it keeps coming out. I will soon be switching to a different host.

Meeting Loneliness with Grace

I have, for so long, seen evangelism as meeting an unbeliever and sharing what it means to know Jesus. I'm realizing that sharing the complexities of my faith and love for Jesus is much more complicated. As I am currently in the community, I have had the opportunity to meet so many new people, believer and unbeliever alike. Today, especially, I have grown in thankfulness as Jesus brought two very different women in my life. I have the love of Jesus to share with believer and unbeliever alike. At the heart of evangelism, is sharing. I'm learning that is sharing life, sharing loneliness, and offering friendship and the truth of Jesus. I have found that so many in this town are lonely and longing for friendship. I feel grateful for the people I have met who have shared their loneliness honestly. It's a risk to admit a need for friendship. It is a risk to say hi to a stranger. I think as Jesus accepts us in our depravity, He joins us to Himself in community. I believe honest community is one of our greatest heart desires. I certainly do not have the corner on building community, but I do know loneliness. I do know that I long to be known. I want people not to just know the shiny, pretty places in my life, but the harder places in my heart. I long for community that will be honest with me in my ugly and point me to the Kind one. I feel so thankful for this day that brought two lovely women in my life. I have never deserved the kindness that was once shown to me by Michele, Jenny, and Mickey, but those women connected me to the God that has never left my community since the day I met Him, May 4, 1994. Thank you Jesus, You are the only cure for my loneliness. You are the One that gives me the grace to meet new people in new places. Thank you ladies that took the time to meet this simple believer today.

Epic Start

I still have a hard time believing my start here in Colorado. The year before our time in Colorado was humbling in so many ways; I was looking to what the Lord had in store for us as we returned to the West. The Lord had it planned for me to fall on my face. LITERALLY! I fell on my face, tore open my lip, broke my nose in two places, and ended up with a heart issue. Currently, my lip is healed, my nose is mostly healed (until a child throws an elbow while snuggling), and I'm proudly sporting a super cool heart monitor.I know you are jealous. I never expected such an entry into this great state, but it was the plan. It was hard on the kids, hard on my heart, but good for my soul. One of my children really struggled seeing my hurting face. They later said, "mom, you stayed at the doctor too long, and came back with a broken heart." We were humbled, each of us. People unpacked my home I had never met, filled my house with food, and helped Jason on our move day. The truth is, He is good, ALL THE TIME! Even in the midst of brokeness and heartache. Alone in the hospital, I knew He was enough. As I have had late nights recently longing for the family in North Carolina, I know He is ENOUGH! Many times over the last weeks, I have heard the beautiful stories of the people in this place. People who are lonely, hurting, fighting the daily battle with unbelief and I know this is where the Lord has me for His good purpose. I tend to be impatient for community, I forget that I need to fall on my face and be reminded how GOOD He is. I see how my children have to face their own lonliness and allow the rich grace of Jesus be enough for them as well. I would love it if you chose to follow this blog. Follow my journey as our family seeks what the Lord has for us here in Colorado. I'm sure it's more falling on our faces, more being stripped of self, more brokenhearted dependance on Christ. May we learn the joy of Him. It's enough, it always has been, it always will be. Thank you dear friends who pray. Thank you for your precious words of encouragement. What will you do in the mundane days of faithfulness?

Reunited...and it feels so good!

I spent the weekend away finding a new home for our family. I had a wonderful time with a dear, dear friend; we shared a weekend of memories. We share a love of all things food. I spent the weekend introducing her to my favorite flavors in Colorado. It was excellent, but we are ladies that love our families. Home last night was a welcome sight. Our stomachs could not handle another meal, and we were ready for our own beds. More later on the trip. I woke up in fast forward. I had planned to have our family photographed. (slideshow soon to follow) Fortunately, we worked with the kindest, most gentle professional. We enjoyed an hour exploring a very cool old factory and just happened to have a few pictures taken. It was such a fabulous experience, I highly suggest anyone looking for some family pictures consider working with Jennifer Owens. She is so kind and patient. I am so thankful we managed to get this in before the big move. Things finally slowed down after lunch. We read our books, did our math, and I turned on the music. We enjoyed a dance party to The Cure and reconnected over our silly dance moves. I quickly wore out. I put Story in my lap and covered her face in kisses as I watched the others shake their tail feathers. Story proceeded to look at me and say sweetly, "you love me." I tell you I could have wept in that moment. I'm of the mind that I do, in fact, love to hear my children say they love me, but much more importantly, it is my job to love them. I did not have my children to fullfill some unmet need in myself. I enjoy these children, and understand it is my high calling to love them with the vast, and generous love that the Father has loved me with daily. She was at rest in my arms in my love, she looked in my eyes with such contentment knowing that love was overflowing with gratitude. How richly, richly blessed I am.

The hard truth of trust

I follow a good and trustworthy God. I daily face my own unbelief and weakness. I am about to enter a new season of life that will bring me face to face with my depravity. I am leaving what is known and comfortable and entering into the unknown. My exciting new and hard reality is one of faith and trust. I do not do this alone; I will be moving to Colorado Springs with my best friend and my four covenant children. Team Tippetts is about to enter a new season of life.

The next few days I'm heading to Colorado Springs with a most dear sister in Christ. We will get to have a weekend as a great final hoorah together. It will be sweet as we know the goodbye soon looms for us. The joy in goodbye among believers is that it will truly never be goodbye. Our daily activity in one anothers life will change, but our friendship will not. I have so many dear sisters here that have been such a blessing to my life. It is not going to be easy to leave such an amazing group of dear friends.

It is going to be very hard to leave this place. I have walked a hard road with trusted friends around me. My love has only grown through this past year. I rejoice that goodbye will be difficult as it is an indication of fondness and connection to Christ in a community. They are not bitter tears that I know I will be shedding, but rather, tears of love and gratitude in getting to know such excellent and amazing people through this season of my life.

As our family enters this exciting new season, I leave this place stronger from what I have learned here, richer than I could ever imagine in friendship, and greatful for the experiences in joy and pain I have had in my community. We have shared so many experiences in North Carolina we take with us. We came from the Rockies to North Carolina nine years ago young, naive, weak and ready to see what God had in store for us. We leave nine years later with more kids, more friends, more of Christ, naive, weak and ready to see what God has in store for us. We look to the future trusting Him to provide community for us in Rockies just as He has done for us in the Blue Ridge.

The hard truth of trusting God is that He is good all the time. Even in the pain of change. He is good in the providence that moves me 1,400 miles from what is known. He is good in the lonliness of entering a new place. He is good as He builds the community He desires for us in Colorado Springs. He is good, and trusting Him is my joy. Truly the hard truth is not hard at all. It is my thankful, wonderful, joyful privledge to follow Him as He has great things in store for this weak vessel that is Kara. I get to look forward with faith and backwards with gratitude.

Needful Truth

Psalm 73 21-28
When my soul was embittered,
when I was pricked in heart,
I was brutish and ignorant;
I was like a beast toward you.

Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me wit your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.