Unbelief

As our family was facing a tough situation last year, I clung to Mark 9. As I spent time reading the Bible in that season, I felt as though I could not move past that chapter. It was a wonderful comfort, as only God's word can be. It is the story of the boy with an unclean spirit. I love the tender care that Jesus shows the situation. The father of the boy is at the end of his options, sounding tired and desperate. Jesus asks the father questions he knows that answers to already. He cares for the father by allowing him the grace to tell his story. He understands the importance for the father to unburden himself to a person that truly cares. Jesus listens. Jesus asks questions. Jesus heals. This is the part I clung to in our tough season. Mark 921-24 And Jesus asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood. And it has often cast him into the fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." And Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' All things are possible for the one who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" And we all know how the story ends, but do we? Do we understand that we must face down our unbelief with Jesus near to us? Or do we live thinking Jesus cannot rescue us in our difficult situation? I have recently grown in fear of our mailbox. Yes, you read that right, I dread getting the mail. I am paralyzed by what I find inside. I should be rejoicing that I live in an excellent age of medicine that helped me when I was in need. I should be rejoicing in my healing and excellent prognosis concerning my heart problem. Instead, I crumble under the fear of our medical bills. I forget who owns everything. I forget the tender care of Jesus. Instead, I am convinced our major medical insurance is bogus and will leave us struggling for years. I hate my unbelief. I hate my faithless worry. I hate my sin struggle in this area. "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief." You are so good, why do I fret and lose my peace? Thank you for Your love! Thank you that you are enough. Thank you for loving me enough to walk near to me in my unbelief. Thank you for loving me enough to show me my sin. Would you please allow me to trust you with my moment of unbelief? And, as I watch the shepherd of my heart in this story, I am struck by the way he cares, even as he knows the answers to the questions. He knew this father and child before they were born. He had known their every step, every need, every thought before this day. He knew their struggle, and He knew He had a holy ordained appointment with a father and son in desperation,and that the appointment would bring great glory to God then and today. It did not come as a surprise to him. Therefore, as I shepherd and love those around me, do I employ this tender care? Do I ask questions I may already know that answers to in order to allow a burdened heart to be unburdened? Do I offer Jesus as the only answer to the heart sickness we all have? Do you? Good questions for me to pray through this beautiful spring day. Lastly, favorite reader, I'm sorry for my format. For some reason, blogger is not allowing my paragraph breaks. I hate reading this in one big clump, but alas, that is how it keeps coming out. I will soon be switching to a different host.