Undeserving

1 Peter 2:2-25
He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

I have something in common with the Pioneer Woman, we both love to smell the heads of our children. I must confess, church today was an hour of smelling the top of my sons head. I worshiped the Lord this morning with my son on my lap, smelling his head and feeling full of gratitude for all Jesus has done for me. Week upon week He gives me the grace to do hard things. And to do hard things and feel grateful at the same time is simply a gift I cannot comprehend.

He will soon be too old for my lap, and his head won't always smell like baby shampoo, but today he's on my lap smelling like boy. He still has bracelets on his wrists from his last remaining baby chub, but I think it won't last until spring. He loves fiercely and is extremely loyal. Last night when praying with the kids about a future move, his sentimental heart broke for the love of a friend he doesn't want to leave behind. I know he will be okay, because today, I know I serve a God who gave it all up for me.

During communion, Jason and I always explain to our children what we are doing. Today it seemed that Lake was really interested in understanding. I explained the bread, and my own struggle with sin. How He reminds us of what He did to save us. I turned to Lake, and told him, "Lake, guess who Jesus was thinking about up on that cross?" He said, "I don't know mommy." "You, you son." I had to close my eyes to keep from crying.

So maybe I didn't hear the sermon, but I know what gratitude and love smell like. I know a little boy whose heart is a little nearer today. As is mine...

Very undeserving of the grace placed on me this day...