Toddlers are Terrific

Reunited...and it feels so good!

2011-12-13T11:27:00.000-08:00

I spent the weekend away finding a new home for our family. I had a wonderful time with a dear, dear friend; we shared a weekend of memories. We share a love of all things food. I spent the weekend introducing her to my favorite flavors in Colorado. It was excellent, but we are ladies that love our families. Home last night was a welcome sight. Our stomachs could not handle another meal, and we were ready for our own beds. More later on the trip.I woke up in fast forward. I had planned to have our family photographed. (slideshow soon to follow) Fortunately, we worked with the kindest, most gentle professional. We enjoyed an hour exploring a very cool old factory and just happened to have a few pictures taken. It was such a fabulous experience, I highly suggest anyone looking for some family pictures consider working with Jennifer Owens. She is so kind and patient. I am so thankful we managed to get this in before the big move.Things finally slowed down after lunch. We read our books, did our math, and I turned on the music. We enjoyed a dance party to The Cure and reconnected over our silly dance moves. I quickly wore out. I put Story in my lap and covered her face in kisses as I watched the others shake their tail feathers. Story proceeded to look at me and say sweetly, "you love me." I tell you I could have wept in that moment. I'm of the mind that I do, in fact, love to hear my children say they love me, but much more importantly, it is my job to love them. I did not have my children to fullfill some unmet need in myself. I enjoy these children, and understand it is my high calling to love them with the vast, and generous love that the Father has loved me with daily. She was at rest in my arms in my love, she looked in my eyes with such contentment knowing that love was overflowing with gratitude. How richly, richly blessed I am.

The hard truth of trust

2011-12-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

I follow a good and trustworthy God. I daily face my own unbelief and weakness. I am about to enter a new season of life that will bring me face to face with my depravity. I am leaving what is known and comfortable and entering into the unknown. My exciting new and hard reality is one of faith and trust. I do not do this alone; I will be moving to Colorado Springs with my best friend and my four covenant children. Team Tippetts is about to enter a new season of life.

The next few days I'm heading to Colorado Springs with a most dear sister in Christ. We will get to have a weekend as a great final hoorah together. It will be sweet as we know the goodbye soon looms for us. The joy in goodbye among believers is that it will truly never be goodbye. Our daily activity in one anothers life will change, but our friendship will not. I have so many dear sisters here that have been such a blessing to my life. It is not going to be easy to leave such an amazing group of dear friends.

It is going to be very hard to leave this place. I have walked a hard road with trusted friends around me. My love has only grown through this past year. I rejoice that goodbye will be difficult as it is an indication of fondness and connection to Christ in a community. They are not bitter tears that I know I will be shedding, but rather, tears of love and gratitude in getting to know such excellent and amazing people through this season of my life.

As our family enters this exciting new season, I leave this place stronger from what I have learned here, richer than I could ever imagine in friendship, and greatful for the experiences in joy and pain I have had in my community. We have shared so many experiences in North Carolina we take with us. We came from the Rockies to North Carolina nine years ago young, naive, weak and ready to see what God had in store for us. We leave nine years later with more kids, more friends, more of Christ, naive, weak and ready to see what God has in store for us. We look to the future trusting Him to provide community for us in Rockies just as He has done for us in the Blue Ridge.

The hard truth of trusting God is that He is good all the time. Even in the pain of change. He is good in the providence that moves me 1,400 miles from what is known. He is good in the lonliness of entering a new place. He is good as He builds the community He desires for us in Colorado Springs. He is good, and trusting Him is my joy. Truly the hard truth is not hard at all. It is my thankful, wonderful, joyful privledge to follow Him as He has great things in store for this weak vessel that is Kara. I get to look forward with faith and backwards with gratitude.

Needful Truth

2011-11-14T07:01:00.000-08:00

Psalm 73 21-28
When my soul was embittered,
when I was pricked in heart,
I was brutish and ignorant;
I was like a beast toward you.

Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me wit your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.

Dazzle them with his love

2011-09-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

He chose us out of his sheer grace and because he loves loving the unlovely. Because of his great love he deserves to be fully honored by us. This means that we transfer our entire trust (and keep transferring it over and over again) to him. This is faith. In the same way that you trust in him and not in yourself for your salvation, you can trust in him for the salvation of your children. You can give yourself grace, he's in control, he is loving, his plan is best. And you can give your children grace, too. Parenting with grace isn't another set of rules for you to follow. It's a story that you're to rejoice in. Share the story with your children. Show the savior. Show them Jesus. Dazzle them with his love. Elyse M. Fitzpatrich, Give them Grace

This book has been such a good book for my heart. It has reminded me of that first taste of grace I experienced. The joy of my salvation that had nothing to do with my merit. As we enter parenthood without guidance from our own upbringing, rules often feel safe and secure. We can easily slip back into the law with our parenting. This book has reminded me the Jesus is enough for today and all eternity. The law exposes our need for a savior, but it is the savior that will fulfill our hearts greatest longing. Jesus loves us specifically today. He loves my children more than I ever can comprehend. He will draw them with his love, not my pushing and prodding. I need to live transparently before my children in love with Jesus.

The law says, "do this," and it is never done. Grace says, "believe in this," and everything is already done. Martin Luther

Praise be...

2011-09-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine called me yesterday to read me a quote from the bulletin of her new church. (paraphrase) Sometimes we spend so much time lamenting over a closed door that we forget to notice the door that has been opened wide. Oh, I have thought over that quote so much the last two days. It has convicted my heart and encouraged my focus. I need to leave the closed door to the Lord, only He can bring true peace to the hurt. But today, this day, He has opended amazing new doors to THIS day. For that, I'm thankful! Thank you for sharing that dearest Lois! It was just what the doctor ordered! I love you!!

life on the move....

2011-08-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

there are moments in life in slow motion...
moments, seasons, you wish would pass quickly..
pain you would rather not feel,
moments that speed up without our knowing...
moments we meant to savor...
time we thought we cherished,
but just like that time passes...

even the hard, the hurt, the slow
is glorious..

life is speeding and at a crawl..
we live it here intentionally with kindness..
enjoying love...
Great, Glorious, Extravangent love
speed up you are going to slowly,
slow down, my head is spinning.

Constantly changing

2011-08-21T03:55:00.000-07:00

The scripture says: "Do not be anxious about ANYTHING"

Anything? Truly, but what if you are? "In everything, with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

So, I'm not to be anxious, but rather pray. So simple, and yet so hard. We are in crunch time with various decisions to be made. I can hardly believe what the next six weeks could have in store for us. We simply have so many unanswered questions, but it's an exciting time.

Prayer, that's the key. And yet, I still feel anxious. It's an exciting time, I'm going to choose to embrace the unknown. But I will certainly rejoice when some of my questions are answered!

John Piper

2011-08-05T11:11:00.001-07:00

Pastor John from 1981:

There are six things in the word of Joab that I think should characterize every effort at team ministry in the church.

1. Humility

First of all, humility. "If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me." Joab was a mighty warrior, but not so foolish as to think himself wholly self-sufficient. "Abishai, my brother, I might be inadequate for the task today." And he was not ashamed to ask for help. Humility willingly acknowledges its own finitude and need. It is open to be helped, and it is open to being taught, and it does not resent good advice or counsel.

2. Diversification

The second characteristic of team ministry illustrated by Joab is diversification. Abishai was sent against the Ammonites; Joab went against the Syrians. It is wise battle strategy, when the enemy is widespread and diverse, that we not engage all the troops in one place. It is also wise to have everyone doing most of the time what they are best at. And it is a solid biblical principle that God has given all of us different combinations of gifts.

3. Mutual Helpfulness

The third characteristic of good team ministry is mutual helpfulness. "If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me; but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you." Diversification in the church is not so ironclad that we can't leave our appointed bailiwicks and help one another. Fundamental to all successful teamwork is that the team members be for each other, not against each other. Competition in ministry is anathema to the Spirit of Christ.

4. Strength

The fourth characteristic of effective team ministry is strength. "Be of good courage and let us play the man." More literally, the Hebrew simply says, "Be strong and let us show ourselves strong!" When the battle begins, do not limp away weak and fearful. Attack! "Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil" (Ephesians 6:10). The power that we need does not come from within ourselves. It is the strength of God's might with which we must be strengthened. When we put on God's armor, we get God's strength.

5. Benefit to God's People

"For our people and for the cities of our God!" Joab said. Even though it must be our goal to help each other, yet we must always ask, "Help each other do what?" And the answer is, "Benefit God's people." No Christian team lives for itself alone. We strive for gospel humility, we employ our diversification, we live in mutual helpfulness, we maintain strength not for ourselves alone but for the benefit of God's people.

6. Surrender to God's Sovereign Guidance

There is one final characteristic of team ministry that Joab illustrates: surrender to God's sovereign guidance. "Be of good courage, and let us play the man for our people and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to him!" And may the Lord do whatever seems good to him. O, may we always approach our work in this way, bowing together before God and saying: "God, we aim to be humble, to be diversified, mutually helpful, strong in the Lord, working hard for the benefit of your people, but, O God, we acknowledge you are sovereign and we are finite, and we would say no more than Joab: in all our plans and all our labor, you do what seems good to you!"

Excerpted from For Our People and for the Cities of God.

________

Recent posts from "Piper's Pen" —

Entertainment-Oriented Preachers vs Bible-Oriented Preachers
What Will It Mean to Live for Christ This Week?
How Can You Identify a Woman Who Fears the Lord?

Life in film

2011-08-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

It always happens.. Once I decide to really get going on my blog, life hits me hard, crazy, fast, and my blog takes a backseat. I'm considering switching platforms and getting some help with my sight and getting a domain, and all at once things take off at a speed I can hardly manage. Sleep has been elusive lately. I am not wasting my mind in worry, but my mind simply won't shut off when I hit the pillow. It's an exciting time in our life. I can't wait to see what the Lord has for us. In the meantime, here is our life in photo! It's a hard job I have, somebody has to LOVE it, and I sure do love it!

It was a great couple of weeks playing at our favorite Montreat park, swimming, visits from grandparents... It has been one full summer!

My sweet girls enjoying one of our favorite places on earth!

Special big girl lunch at the Veranda with Bella.

Amazing treat movie with Jerry, Darnell, and Erika... First movie for Story. Big, big time!!

Is there anything more photo worthy than a sweet sleeping babes?

Day at Montreat park!! Our Fav!!

More pool love! It's where the best of childhood happens!

Safe in His arms sweet Simi...

2011-07-26T12:27:00.001-07:00

Here is a hard story to read, and yet I know my God is in control. This sweet family is now in my constant prayers. I cannot imagine the reality they face this side of heaven absent from their sweet daughter, but in glory, what a reunion they will have. My heart grieves the loss of this child, and my prayers are with you.

Some Final Words on the life and death of ‘Simi’ Goodwin

Rainy Day Thoughts

2011-07-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

Rainy days make me contemplative and sad, but this rainy day was without thunder. I told the kids to stay outside and enjoy the silly wonder of play with rain. I sat and watched each of my children.

Some played with abandon, some with reserve and uncertainty, but the wonder of a child is intoxicating. I enjoy watching the unique qualities of my children. I see how some of my children enjoy more freedom to be truly free.

It makes my heart wonder what I can do to nurture in them more freedom to be free... It is why Jesus came... For freedom, He came to set me free. To set my children free. What do I do to quench that freedom? What do you do to steal true joy? It's worth some contemplating this rainy day!

It's alright with me...

2011-07-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

I have come to terms with the fact that I'm just not that cool. I don't fight for coolness, and I am growing comfortable in my middle-ish state of life. I am free to be a little bit goofy and behind the times. I don't know what the newest music is, the next trends in food don't impress me much. I like food best that doesn't cause me to throw up nowadays!

In high school, I was a vegetarian... Not so much for the rights of animals... Though I probably said that was the reason, truly, I thought it upped my coolness. I kept on that track for nearly seven years. I lacked any type of mammal in my diet for my cool value. Now I'm considering becoming a vegan... Not to be cool... because my gallbladder doesn't really work. How old lady is that. So, no... I'm not a bit cool in my possible quest to have a faceless diet, I'm getting old and grizzled. I remember my cool days, and I really don't miss them much.

Mammals, you are safe around me, well maybe, I'm on the fence if I can actually do this. I learned a few things this past week at assessment (the place where your life is laid bare before totally strangers, who decide the possibilities of your future), it's okay to be who I was created to be. The challenge to begin to divorce myself from the outward things that define me, and to simply live the gospel in the created being that is Kara. Not a simple challenge.

So, I don't know what's cool in music, I pick my shoes for comfort, I don't really know what a libertarian is, and I may just pick a junk book to pass my time, but today, I get to live in the great Covenant with my children. The joy of faithfulness I can seek in this day is endless. I want to live in the reality of where Jesus has me. I get to embrace the freedom of repentance and living near to Jesus.

The greatest challenge I face in my reality is not fretting about what the future holds. New exciting doors may be opening, and I don't need to be anxious! Living in the trust that a loving God holds my days, my moments, my future, and not fretting over tomorrow. I know I won't be cool in that future place, but I know I will be lovingly kept in His hand. Praise be!

Best Birthday!

2011-07-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

When you have a big family, every day feels like a party.

When you are married to your best friend, every night feels like a sleep over.

When you grow older, you cease to care about cool and value what is real.

When you have a full heart, you see the blessings in the moments that truly matter, the people next to you... Your nearest neighbor.

Things of this world pass away moment by moment, but the things of God are here, eternal and forever.

Love spent today on kindness matter....

Gift, today is a gift.... As was yesterday, that just so happened to be my birthday.

Truck drivers and blessings!

2011-07-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

I have the great honor of being alive today. The privledge of breath and life. I get to snuggle my children and point them to Jesus.. It is my blessing to wash clothes from a trip and spend some money at the grocery store. I get to gently correct my children and read them books. My blessings never end.

I have a baby who wants to wear a swimming suit and a son that refuses to wear a shirt. Lake has the privledge of exploring our back yard. Our girls have already completed a craft and are onto dressing up and playing house.

My husband headed happily, though a little tired, off to work. Tonight a dear friend will be coming to stay the night with us. Every moment is a gift, every person we encounter a joy. Today, I want to spend it all.

You see yesterday I was driving along a fast highway at a high speed when suddenly a person in front of me decided to turn left off the highway, not the usual waiting a mile to exit to the right. Her sudden stop on the highway left the rest of us with no place go. I heard Jason make a tense sound looking in the rear mirror as the semi, heavy laden with steal beams behind us, also had no place to go. He was coming quickly to the place my four precious children were sleeping soundly in their seats.

I quickly drove forward into the median, only to watch as the trucker expertly avoided my car by inches. Jason looked at me, told me I did well and encouraged me forward to the nearest stop. The lady who caused our near miss went on without thought that her poor driving could have cost the life of an entire family.

I pulled over, almost threw up, and Jason took over driving. It was nearly fifty miles before I stopped shaking. I looked back at my children, still sleeping soundly, and immediately thanked the Lord for His protection. I know if we had been in that wreck His grace would have been sufficient. I know He is good ALL THE TIME! I get to serve Him one more day. I get to be His daughter today, tomorrow and forever.

And to you dearest truck driver. Thank you for expertly doing your job well. Thank you for your quick reaction. You will forever have my prayers for safety! Thank you.

Thank you for another day with my tall, tender daughter; my tiny, sweet daughter; my shirtless, loving son, and my screaming, snuggly baby. Thank you for the gift of another day married to my best friend. But mostly, thank you for another day to worship Your goodness even through the joy and pain of living in this world. I can't wait for the day I meet you in glory. It was not part of your plan to take us home yesterday. I pray I live well today. I want to enjoy You today.

Story Jane

2011-07-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

Last night I enjoyed watching fireworks with my sweet baby in my lap. She nearly fell asleep. When they were over she turned to me and said, "amen."

That's right little girl, "amen."

The Best Babysitter

2011-07-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

We have been beyond blessed to have amazing babysitters. They have each become a special part of our family. Laura, Mary, Erika, we love you! Thank you for loving my children well and walking with Jesus in front of my children. This song goes out to you all!

Friday Love.. A week in photos

2011-07-01T05:38:00.000-07:00

Our week in review... Week in pictures. Had an amazing moment with this one after a struggle. We jumped in my bed, pulled out the Bible and discussed how it applied to the struggle. One of those rare moments of grace where there is not only connection to one another, but also to the word.

I was not a bit surprised to find that my son and I share a love of fire on our camping trip. We loved building the fire, collecting wood, and watching wet wood dry out. Every moment of every day... "Can we make fire now?" Is there anything better camping than fire?

It doesn't matter how old, long or cool they are. When our children wake up, each one finds a lap to wake out of slumber... It's simply the best..

Little bit playing school with her big sisters. I think they will have her reading on her own in no time.

Jason and I both reverted to our backpacking days when we went camping. We wore the same outfit all weekend long. So this is the handsome man I was with for two days!

Harper LOVES a silly picture. She prefers a silly picture. Often when I'm looking for a good family picture I see her silly face in the corner. It's really the best thing. I don't ever want it to change. Her quiet silly ways tickles my silly bone!

Summer Bounty

2011-06-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

I love where I live. I'm about a mile from my dear friends. With them, I share my life, faith, my tears and a garden. The best of life wrapped up in an amazing place. If only we could get the weeds to stop growing.

Memories and me...

2011-06-29T07:31:00.000-07:00

The way I remember my life comes in two different categories, how it smelled or how it tasted. Tell me of a time in my life with joy, and I will tell you what it tasted like. Remind me of a trip to my grandparents farm, and I will tell you how it smelled. My life is sensual, but not in the classic sense. I just remember the smell and taste of things. Perhaps that directly relates to two of my greatest pleasures and greatest splurges.

I am a careful shopper when it comes to food, clothing, most everything. In two places, we have never found a cheaper substitute. Trust me we have tried. I splurge when it comes to our morning cup of coffee and my soap.

My favorite time of day is when I smell the coffee and hear the final sounds of it coming through the coffee pot. It means time reading the Bible, time talking with Jason, and our time of prayer together. It's the best part of my day. Jason and I mix together Starbucks house blend and their decaf house blend. I have found the best prices at Target.

And when it comes to my soap. I have tired many alternatives. But I found that the cheap soap doesn't last, but when I spend a little extra and buy the French milled soap, it is actually economical as it lasts over three months. And the smell, it's amazing! So my stolen moment of quiet actually becomes a great smelling joy filled experience well worth the extra money spent. I plan to write this company today to thank them. When I looked at the label, I noticed they were here in North Carolina. Thank you South of France, the stolen moment of quiet increases my patience with my children! Thank you. What increases your joy? Where do you splurge? Comment....I double dog dare you!!!

Camping with kids...

2011-06-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

Camping with kids is much like fishing with kids. Where I fondly remember moments fishing and camping of years past, that is now replaced with a newer understanding and appreciation of them both. First, I grow only deeper in my appreciation for the patience of my grandmother and all the fishing trips she took me on. I have memories of endless bliss of reeling in fish after fish sitting companionably with my elder brother.

Now that I'm a mom, I realize the hard work my grandma did to build such beautiful memories into my young years. Truly, it is sweaty, hot work of endless baiting, fish removal, and fixing hung up line. Somehow my memories seem so peaceful, but I imagine there was one tired grandma at the end of those hot fishing days. Grandma was tireless in creating joy in my childhood.

That takes me to our first camping trip with all four kids. Unlike my backpacking days in Colorado with Jason, we did not ponder life around a fire as we read thoughtful books and gazed at the beautiful scenery.

No, the joy of this trip was much different from the quiet moments of my twenties. Camping with the kids was all go, go, go, and then and eventual crash in sleeping bags. We played so hard, we hoped for an easy bedtime. After a few chapters of an excellent book I've been reading with the kids, they peaceably found sleep. And Jason and I were able to steal a few moments to talk around a fire...

We went swimming, hiking, wading in a creek, exploring, hunting firewood, hunting bugs, wrestled. The trip was a success, but I came home very tired. Very dirty. Very full. We laughed together with the kids, we laughed watching them feel comfortable in their new outdoor surroundings, we enjoyed ourselves tremendously.

Someday I will return to the quiet camping I once knew, but somehow I think I will miss the busy chaos. I'm forever like my grandma; hard working for the bliss of the joy in watching my children embrace life at it's best!

Lamentations 3

2011-06-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

The place where the best of life takes shape!

2011-06-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

This is where I do life! I connect to my story here. I celebrate family and friends around this spot. I live in the chair on the left, it has a hole in the seat, and is nearest the kitchen. My best friend takes up residence on the right. We ask important questions here. We laugh here. We eat a smattering of food here. This place is important, maybe not to you, but to us it is where important moments happen. When I have been too long from this spot, I feel uneasy. My old hand-me-down table, mix of chairs, Hoosier from my beloved grandparent, very simple, scratch filled, but perfectly broken in, create home for my manageable mix of chaos!

Where do you do life? How does it nurture your soul?

Quishable Lake Love

2011-06-24T07:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, my kids are all such treats. Each of my children hold a special place in my heart. He still remains pronoun confused often saying things like, "him's my friend"... Lake spends his days working, and rarely plays. Actually work is play for my son.

One day recently, some dear friends of ours were moving. I was heading to the pool while Jason would spend time helping with the move. Isn't crazy to think my son would rather swim than work? As I was dropping Jason off, Lake spotted a group of workers. Better yet, he spotted strong men working. Jason gave me a kiss goodbye, and Lake started to beg, cry, plead to be allowed to also work.

As I neared the pool, the heartbreak of my son became too much. I seriously wondered if I made the wrong decision to rob a boy of a day of work/play. Suffice it to say, he saw his friend at the pool and was distracted. Thank goodness for the red headed friend that met us at the pool. He has brought Lake out of many a funky mood.

My new favorite thing about my son. Words that begin with S and another letter come hard for Lake. ie.. Mom, there is a pider (spider) I need to save you from/ which he bravely often will do for me. Last week he came in our room one morning, snuggled in between Jason and I. We made a yummy Lake sandwich and loved and loved on him. He smiled, he giggled, he pretended to fight... Then he said, "you are QUISHING me"....Which just made us do it more, because I love to quish my little man! He's very quishable!! Unique Lake!!! I love you!!

I will be sad when his pronouns improve, the baby chub on his wrists vanishes, and when his S makes an appearance in his speech. I celebrate the unique qualities of my children this day.. How do you love your children specifically and intentionally this day?

The beauty of a young lady

2011-06-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

Our family celebrated a huge milestone... Ella turned ten on June 8,2011. It was a big event that we decided to mark with a trip alone with me. Jason and I puzzled a long time over the right place to take her. We had several really neat spots in mind, but in the end, the Lord knew just where he wanted us.

We decided to visit our dear friend Mary Jett in Williamsburg, Virginia. Not only is it a beautiful setting with lots of fun things to do; there were two amazing older young ladies for Ella to enjoy.

I picked Ella up from school and we headed North. We were so excited. We played loud music and found some Mexican food to start our journey. On the way to Virginia, I made clear our weekend was for fun, but it was also to talk about Ella growing into a young lady. I cannot tell you the joy of a weekend of focused attention on Ella.

But the neat thing, it was not just my attention, but the attention of Mary and her roommate Annette that made the weekend so special. Ella laughed hard, tried new things, and enjoyed herself to the fullest. We went to Busch Gardens, where I nearly had to be carried out from the heat, and we also went to Water Country USA. I think that was the favorite of us both. We also spent a mellow day shopping and catching a movie. We ended our trip attending the worship service with Mary and Annette. Truly it was one of the best services I have ever attended. I simply cried through the entire service. I will save that for another post. It was such an amazing service, one that I wish Jason could have seen. We have talked for years about worship, and I really think he would have loved what the Lord is doing at Grace Covenant in Williamsburg.

Truly the weekend was amazing. Ella and I had great time together. She was excited and mature about the adult topics we discussed. She loves Jesus, and I see her desire to follow him in her own way. What a gift to have such a daughter.

Ella was surprised by her trip. Harper and Lake are already putting in orders for their trips. Harper asked if she could take hers when she turn 7, and Lake said he's going hunting on his trip. Moments like these cause me to rejoice in my children growing older. It's such a treat to be a mama to these sweet babies!

I really think this age was the right time to have important talks with Ella. She was mature discussing relationships, sex, friendships, and what kinds of things will come her way as a young lady. We talked about the temptation she will face to distance herself from Jason and I, and the importance of choosing friendships wisely.

Kindness is something we spend a lot of time discussing as a family. It's hard work, it costs a lot, but the value of a soft tender heart is priceless. But not kindness for show, kindness that understands the love and kindness shown to us from the Lord. I see that deepening in my daughter. It's a daily challenge for us all. I would recommend to any parent to look at ten as a milestone to celebrate. More than that, I hope we all look for intentional moments with our children. Time is fleeting, and what we do with it is important. I do not want to regret moment missed!

Love your man well!

2011-06-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

In the hunt for a mentor in my early years of marriage, I met a woman that forever changed my perspective on loving Jason. This woman liked her coffee strong, loved art, and had a voice of a DJ or rock star. Her children were absolutely unique and she had a great love and admiration for her husband.

The time we had together was absolutely priceless to me. She made herself available to me and was always up for a cup of coffee. She was venerable with her weaknesses and my favorite thing about her...She loved reading.

When I first met her she was working her way through the Pulitzer Prize list of books. I immediately jumped on board with her. I knew I met a kindred spirit when I saw her love for reading.

One day as I was explaining how Jason and I both love books, but could not be more opposite in what we read. She gave me a simple answer that will forever stay with me. She told me how she felt reading made her more interesting for her husband. How she had a lot of different interests that deepened her and encouraged her to be an interesting person. Interesting in the eyes of her husband. She talked how easy it is to become consumed in his world or the world of the children and become somewhat lost. That reading broadened her life and deepened her understanding.

Jason and I will always read different books. I only read fiction and non fiction books on farming. Jason loves books of faith and theology. We meet daily over the Bible, but we celebrate our differences.

Just last week, Jason heard that a friend of ours was butchering his chickens. He immediately knew it was something I wanted to learn to do. He managed to get us invited. It was fabulous. I even was given the opportunity to kill one of the chickens. You see, Jason has no interest in killing chickens, but he loves my interests. And I want to be someone he finds forever interesting.

This week I'm taking a Thai cooking class. I can hardly wait. Jason was so supportive. He has always been my champion with all my crazy notions. I'm so gifted to have him, so I want to always be a gift. A quirky, interesting, funky, silly, loving gift he can't wait to come home to at night!

Counting the blessing!

2011-06-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

56. Under-roooos

57. Kids waking one at a time, and enough lap and time to snuggle each out of their sleepy groggy state

58. The bubble gum supplier at church

59. Learning something new, last week butchering a chicken, this week Pad Thai

60. Kids learning the art of cleaning

61. Coffee

62. Prayers before sleep... They feel like such a peaceful conversation with a beloved friend

63. Rainy Mondays

64. Cookie Monster shirt passed down from my son to my daughter

65. The smell of clean

66. Meal planning, with the hope to share a meal of two or ten

67. Hard work rewarded by snuggles

2011-06-20T07:42:00.001-07:00

Thank you!

2011-06-19T13:53:00.000-07:00

I can't imagine this journey without you! What a daddy you are, what a friend and comfort... Thank you for being you, and living your life so trasparently for Him. I'm rich beyond measure. Happy Father's Day dearest.

Historic Day

2011-06-08T05:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know how time has passed so quickly, one minute I was in the worst pain in my life, and the next I was a mamma. Now I find myself with the most amazing ten year old daughter. I feel like it was yesterday I met you Ella.

Time has gone quickly, but I have enjoyed every moment of your life. You are so full of sweet grace and kindness. I delight in knowing you, loving you, and being a small part of directing the beautiful heart you have been given. You love Jesus and those around you with such tender kindness, I am often humbled by your love.

A long time ago Jason and I decided to take our children on a trip when they turn 10. The goal of the trip is fun, education, and explanation of expectation. I hope to explain to Ella things that will be coming her way with friendships, her body, and life. I'm excited about sharing with her what things I expect of her as a young lady, and what things I most look forward to with her. I have asked special friends to write her letters. I want other voices in her life. I want her to know she has a much larger community than just this household.

I can hardly wait. As Ella comes home from school today, we are headed to Williamsburg, Virginia. We will be staying with a dear friend, and enjoy

all that Virginia has to offer.

Pictures of the trip soon to come! But not too soon, I want to savor every moment of this time alone with my firstborn daughter!

Kindness is Christ

2011-06-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

This has been a tough year where I have had to face unkindness head on. I have had to look at the face of hate and anger and press deeply into Christ. In the face of ugly, it is difficult to seek grace and not revenge. Love and not bitterness, Christ and not self.

I have spoken in veiled utterances, but it is clear there has been much pain. But in the place of pain, He has been there. Right there. Ever present, close, steady and certain. As my idols have deminished, He has filled the empty space.

In the brokeness of life, I don't need to be like Christ. I need Christ himself. I realize the being like Christ can just end up in a pile of works, but give me Christ himself, and I will show you perfect peace in the midst of a terrible storm.

True joy is not the absence of pain, but His presence in the midst of pain. I hurt for those who have not seen Christ in their midst lately. Who have refused the joy and freedom of repentance. I long for more, more, more of Jesus, and that consequently means less of me. Less need to defend and be right... I need Him. Guess what I've learned, it was for freedom that He set me free... He set His love on me for that.. To daily give me Himself.. To be enough for today, tomorrow, and eternity

Overflowing Grace

2011-06-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

49. Slow motion that is heat induced

50. Neatly folded laundry

51. Lightening bugs

52. 6 and a half years of nursing

53. 10 year old trip and weaning vacation combined

54. Little girl painted nails

55. Shelling peas and chatting with my brood

Thankfulness

2011-06-07T05:20:00.000-07:00

41...Schools out for summer

42...Uncertain times that keep you praying and dependent

43...Chubby baby hand reaching into my hand for a snack

44...Firstborn about to enter next season of life

45...Surprise trip with firstborn

46...Weaning last baby, happy and sad about this one.

47...Heat that grows my tomatoes

48...Fresh peas from the garden

Graduation Blissdom

2011-05-24T05:35:00.000-07:00

I have to say this was one of the most proud moments of my life. When the graduates started their walk into the graduation service I started to cry. I kept on crying throughout the entire service. Jason has been done with his schoolwork since October, but this felt like such a special moment to celebrate the many, many years of effort by Jason. More than that, he did it well, parented well, worked hard and was a faithful loving husband in the process. Not many people realize how much it truly cost him to wear his many hats. The weekend was amazing. Friend surprised us, Dad went to great effort to make the trip, and the kids behaved very well. It really was a proud moment.

Sadly, yesterday my phone was stolen with many of the pictures I took over the weekend. It has been very sad. Though I am sad for the loss of my phone, I'm heartbroken that I lost so many pictures. Fortunately, I texted pictures like a proud wife. So I have gotten some of the pictures back. I will post them.

Jason, I'm so proud. So very thankful for you!

Crazy Crazy Fun

2011-05-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

There is one place in this world that if I asked my kids if they wanted to go they would all join in a loud voice and say! NASHVILLE!!! In the process of looking for a job, Jason said, "if we could live anywhere, where would you choose?" Again, NASHVILLE!!!

We are certainly open to the possibility of moving there if a call opens up, but as for weekend visits, they are a favorite for our entire family. It's funny for Angela and I, if someone asks us who is coming to town and we mention the other family coming... We get comments like, "You are crazy." "Better you than me." "That does not sound like fun."

Oh, but the fun they are missing. The thing is, combined we have 9 children. It's a heafty sum of kids, but they are all such amazing friends. This past Easter visit, I really can't remember any fighting. Seriously, I'm trying now to remember, and I can't. I'm sure it may have happened, but it was so so fun.

We really used to struggle with our oldest two completely wearing themselves out, but they better know their limits. The little ones still struggle with little people kinds of issues, but here, Nashville, they always happen.

Aunt Angela and Uncle Dana have a house for sale directly facing their house. Ella has been praying we would get that house. Two things I do not have the heart to tell her, 1. We can't afford it and 2. it sold. No reason in upsetting her.

Our kids have built a lifetime of memories together. Maybe someday we will live closer together. I know a lot of little people that would rejoice if that day came.

Anniversary Edition Blessing count!!

2011-05-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

30. Jason.. You, so thankful for you!

31. Your gentle love and discipline of our children

32. Your constant kindness toward me throughout my day!

33. Your coffee making skillz!

34. Your face that is reflected in each of my chldren.

35. Your integrity that is unwavering

36. Your faith: constant, true and full

37. Your patience, waiting for me to catch up; I know you are praying for me when I lag behind.

38. For each of the years past, even in our struggles, God has been so gracious to strengthen and deepen our marriage.

39. For the four children these years have brought into our life. I cannot think of anyone I would rather share the laughs with around our dinner table.

40. For the years to come... I can hardly wait boyfriend!!! I love you!

Goal for next year! More pictures of us. We are lacking in that department!But we have plenty of our children!

a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com" target="_blank">

Onward weary soldier...Counting, counting the gifts!

2011-05-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

17. Dirt under fingernails

18. Dimples on the back of 50% of the hands in my home

19. Caring that takes nothing, but only gives rich grace

20. Patience to wait for a heart to soften

21. Haze on my backyard mountains

22. Movie night with girlfriends

23. Nailpolish on little girl fingers

24. Over watered herbs by my over zealous garden helpers

25. Cotton anything

26. Clean sheets to rub my feet on next to my best friend

27. Heat that slows everthing down to a crawl

28. Anticipating the arrival of dear friends from a far off land

29. Time alone with a child

30. Grace that is greater than all my sin!

Counting the blessings

2011-05-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

5. Psalms, all of them! But 123 is a current favorite

6. Sunshine after a powerful storm

7. Girlfriends

8. Weakness made perfect in His strength. Exposing my clear need

9. Uncertainty that keeps me dependent and hopeful

10. Mountains in my backyard... Don't let me take your beauty for granted, as I clearly may not have you in the months to come.

11. Blue jeans that wear out in fun

12. Quilt forts

13. Post Easter, egg hunting

14. Cash in the laundry; feeling so much like a tip that says: "Go get yourself something pretty!" Or from a soda fountain.

15. Knowing who to pray for during a storm. Knowing the fears of those closest to me; being able to trust them to Jesus. The gift of knowing a heart. Truly knowing it.

16. The pool season that is fast approaching! I can hardly wait to slather my babies in sunscreen!

Counting the Blessings!

2011-05-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

I have decided to count the specific blessings and moments for thankful praise here. So here it goes all the way to 1,000... Not all at once certaninly.

1. Jesus, and his plucking me from the mundane and having more imagination for this heart than I ever could.

2. My guy, my grass mowing, hard tickling, blue eyed, tender hearted, gray chest haired, full of God's grace man.

3. My toe headed brood of babies. Full of fullness and life. Eager to love and share, Mexican food loving, light hearted gang of misfits.

4. My now, grace everyday for my now. Living present in today with grace and not worry. Greatest today gift I could ever ask for.

Best day EVER!

2011-05-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was first married; I put such unrealistic expectations on Jason in the gift department. My daydreaming hopes of every holiday always left me grumpy and discouraged. Now that I've grown a little bit older and maybe a little bit more...hmmm, less selfish and full of myself, I see fun days like Mother's Day with more grace.

My weekend was fantastic, full of snuggles, gooey glue cards and time. Time with my husband, time with my kids, and time to nap. It was fantastic. I think of the holidays that I felt so let down; I regret the selfish heart I took into those holidays.

I'm so richly blessed as a mama. Blessed beyond all understanding. Truly, everyday is my day. Everyday I get to have a sleep over with my best friend. Everyday I get to have my favorite people to dinner! Everyday, I get to fold the endless mounds of blessings given to my children from friends. Everyday, I get to witness the Lord provide for my heart, the hearts of my family and the community around us.

My cup is running over! When I think it isn't; I'm not looking... Blessed! I'm so richly, richly blessed!

I'm on Jason's computer, found these old pictures! I love my job!

Tired Thinking

2011-05-04T11:26:00.000-07:00

I'm tired today. Weary even, but I'm thankful. I have the song outside of my wind chime, the sleeping sounds of my baby and the untamed cowlick of my son. I'm watching my love study, waiting for my big girls to come home.

Tired mama not knowing what to cook. Tired mama, confused by this day. I read Proverbs 4 and found much comfort.

Proverbs 4:20
My son, be attentive to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings.
Let them not escape from your sight;
keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
Put away from you crooked speech,
and put devious talk far from you.
Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or the left;
turn your foot from evil.

How can it be?

2011-05-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know where time went..
How are you two?

Your squishy nose smiles
Your baby girl curls
Your chubby baby thighs
Your bright bright blue eyes
Capture me
Melt me

Your constant hand in my shirt
Need for my lap
Love for time
Quiet ways, but ever need to be present

I cannot remember life without
you in it.
Yet, I have only known you for two years.

Two happy years!
I love you sweet Story Jane!
Happy Birthday!

Too shy to blow out your candles
this year,
Who knows what another year will hold?

Come Awake!

2011-05-02T10:34:00.001-07:00

Tire Swings and Kind Neighbors

2011-04-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

True joy comes from many places. Certainly the creator of joy is far more creative than I ever could be in creating a beautiful place of rest and joy for my children.

I, on the other hand, had very little imagination for what our new life would be like. I seem to see all that is missing, all that I miss, but my kids see each day for the possibility that exists in it.

If we have been gone to school, to family, to the grocery, the absolute bliss my children experience getting out of the car and running to the backyard is fantastic. Two simple swings, a friendly neighbor, and a grassy field, has delighted my children for hours.

This morning, with sleepy eyes, my son went to the back sliding glass door to see if his new friend Miss Pat was on her porch yet. He almost tore through the door open when he saw her. I insisted he dress. I never saw him get dressed so quickly.

There is always grace provided. My kids help me to better see it everyday. Thank you Jesus for tire swings and kind neighbors. Thank you for dirty feet and worms. Thank you for friends that stop by and for friends who live next door. Thank you for the friendship I see shared among my children. Thank you for the lone tree in my back yard that is as generous as The Giving Tree Shel wrote so tenderly about. You knew we needed that apple tree to create a safe place of joy for my children.

Sweet Sweet Moments

2011-04-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

In the limbo of my day, I recognize many blessings.

A good sneeze
Holding hands
Baby hair curls
Cupcake making with littles
Fresh cut grass
New friend at the fruit stand
Thinking what I would cook new friend if I invited her to dinner
Sweet sweet birthday party planning for my baby
Big adult teeth in my little girl
My son who refuses to wear a shirt
My husband... everything
Avoiding laundry
Avoiding what if thinking and enjoying right now.

Put a leash on that DOG!!!

2011-04-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm a jerk, but first of all I'm a mama. I have little tots that are somewhat timid around dogs. So when on a hike in a public place with your dog, please put it on a leash. Sure, maybe I have a wrong opinion of pit bulls, but mostly I have a strong opinion about the safety of my children.

And, I know you know how dogs can sense fear. So, though you are not afraid, my children are. Let's all enjoy God's wonderful creation with a leash. Seriously, even your tame little poode or kindly old lab... Put them on a leash!

And when after hours of hiking, I know how much you NEED to have a smoke. Again, I'm a jerk, but I came out for the fresh air, not your second hand smoke. Hike off the trail and do what you must, I understand the cigarette companies have spent a fair bit of money to get you addicted.

Alas, dogs and smoke could not deter my wonderful day with my children! Take a child in the woods and watch their curiousity grow. It's amazing the imagination that will bloom in a couple of hours in the woods. Hiking in the presence of puddles....even better!

Church Giggles

2011-04-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

I have two things to report... I have a favorite new chore and I had a most favorite moment in church.

First, my favorite new chore is cleaning my tub. Seriously, after every bath time with the kids, my tub has the most unreal dirt ring around it. It is a sure sign of my kids enjoying themselves. The dirt they find displays the joy created in their new surroundings.

Secondly, yesterday we visited yet another church. It was a Saturday evening service. The music was loud and the songs were new. While watching my daughter sing her heart out I noticed a line in the song... It went something like this, "when God came to earth it was like a sloppy kiss." I looked at Ella, and we had a great big loud laugh. The music was so loud, we didn't interupt anyone in their worship. The freedom I felt in the loud music to laugh with my daughter was freedom itself. Joy expressed in worship was much needed. My heart felt so light.

Then after the evening of laughter, friends, good food, loud worship, my husband turned the car around and drove to see if the hot light was on at Krispy Kreme! Pure love. Jesus, family, friends, food, and a warm doughnut, my cup runneth over...Thank you Jesus.

Valley of Vision

2011-04-04T05:54:00.000-07:00

In Prayer

In prayer I launch far out into the eternal world,
and on that broad ocean my soul triumphs
over all evils on the shores of mortality.

Time, with its gay amusements and cruel disappointments
never appears so inconsiderate as then.

In prayer I see myself as nothing;
I find my heart going after thee with intensity,
and long with vehement thirst to live to thee,

Blessed be the strong gales of the Spirit
that speed me on my way to the New Jerusalem.

In prayer all things here below vanish,
and nothing seems important
but holiness of heart and the salvation of others.

In prayer all my worldly cares, fears, anxieties disappear,
and are of as little significance as a puff of wind.

In prayer my soul inwardly exults with lively thoughts
at what thou art doing for thy church,
and I long that thou shouldst get thyself a great name
from sinners returning to Zion.

In prayer I am lifted above the frowns and flatteries of life,
and taste heavenly joys;
entering into the eternal world
I can give myself to thee with all my heart,
to be thine for ever.

In prayer I can place all my concern in thy hands,
to be entirely at thy disposal,
having no will or interest of my own.

In prayer I can intercede for my friends, ministers,
sinners, the church, thy kingdom to come,
with greatest freedom, ardent hopes,
as a son to his father,
as a lover to the beloved.

Help me to be all prayer and never to cease praying.

Hand Holding Love

2011-03-31T05:35:00.000-07:00

She grows daily
Her smile brightens
Her teeth are adult

She lives between
Child-like and Lady-like
She is graciously both

Her questions astound
They stump her father
The new Masters of Divinity Grad

She melts my heart
Life is a moment
Then your daughter turns to a lady

But she still holds my hand

Letting go of the baby girl and embracing this beautiful young lady! Child of my heart, young woman of God.

Thankful

2011-03-29T04:57:00.000-07:00

For the cold weather that keeps me inside
Flat pillows and a warm bed
Dimples on the back of chubby hands
Little girl that found the wonder of mascara
time spent wrestling
Harper so diminutive and so big

Fresh laundry
Empty boxes
Unexpected channels and seeing American Pickers
Lavendar anything
Ella so tall and still free in her silly girl-ness
The leper that couldn't keep his healing to himself
The 4 friends that carried the mat
Patient love that waits
Hurt that refines

Where have you been?

2011-03-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Where have I been?

Well, I have been buried behind boxes and boxes and boxes. I am still a little buried, but a little less buried. We have moved across town into a house we have owned for several years. The Lord has been gracious to us in this place. Though it is smaller than what we have gotten used to, it feels right. The kids have found joy around every turn. With only a small fraction of their toys, they have found plenty to enjoy.

For instance, one day, I had had enough of the world of boxes. I had found a kite, and off I went, young man in tow. We had a ball. We ran ourselves tired. We saw how high we could get our kite. Then we held hands and walked home.

Yesterday was our first Sunday at a new church. The kids were timid, Lake had been carsick from the curvy drive, but we felt loved and encouraged. You don't realize what you take for granted in the comfort of the everyday. When the communion came to Ella and I, she had a moment of panic, "is it all juice mama?" Umm, we had to stop the smooth process of their every Sunday routine to ask. New muscles, we are all growing new muscles. We are searching for the grace to grow these new muscles, but it's there. I knew it would be.

On our way up the mountain to worship, we were encamped by a cloud on the drive. It made sense to me. Fog. I get fog. I could only see right in front of our car. I felt safe with my guy at the wheel. I noticed the metaphor and I was thankful that nature could relate to me. I could not see the vast, beautiful mountain to my right or my left, I knew it's beauty was there, I had witnessed it before many times, but I could safely see right in front of my face. Once we got to the top, vomit. The journey is cloudy, sometimes makes us nauseous, but it's all grace. I am learning that struggles and suffering are also a part of God's picture of grace. That hard is good too, for us all.

Once we made it to church, we cleaned up our little man as best as we could. He was super stoked to be wearing a pj shirt we found in the back. He turned to his dadddy and said, "this is the best day." He knows grace better than us all. Half way through worship he turned to me, "mommy I'm hungry." Too funny.

I have a lot of growing to do. I know the nearness of the Lord is my good. I know He intended to grow in me this new grace. I trust Him. He is good, ALL THE TIME!

Dinner Conversation

2011-03-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Lake: "Dad, are you a ROCK STAR?"

Jason: "Yeah Lake, I'm a ROCK STAR!"

Lake: "Me too dad, I'm a ROCK STAR!!"

Jason: "Really Lake, I haven't seen you at the meetings?"

I mean, if this kid isn't a ROCK STAR, I don't know who is?

Psalm 73

2011-03-10T02:45:00.000-08:00

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I
desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you
shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is
unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.

Beautiful Lyrics by Andrew Peterson and Letting Go

2011-03-09T12:38:00.000-08:00

Just As I Am

What's that on the ground?
It's what's left of my heart
Somebody named Jesus broke it to pieces
and planted the shards
And they're coming up green
They're coming in bloom
I can hardly believe this is all coming true

Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
He showed me the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does

All of my life I've held on to this fear
These thistles and vines ensnare and entwine
What flowers appeared
It's the fear that I'll fall one too many times
It's the fear that His love is no better than mine

Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does

Well it's time now to harvest what little that grew
This man they call Jesus, who planted the seeds
Has come for the fruit
And the best that I've got isn't nearly enough
He's glad for the crop, but it's me that He loves.

Letting go:

Today I'm letting go the idea of my future. Letting go my tomorrow, and embracing today. Today, the letting go hurts. I named my daughter for a place I love, will always love, but have to walk away from. Letting go of my idea of my life and letting a God with an infinite imagination dream much bigger than I ever could.

Thankful for what was, sad for what is, looking to what will soon be. You will meet me in the unknown Jesus. Of that I am certain, and I am not certain of much.

Gun Cabinets and Friendship

2011-03-07T13:43:00.000-08:00

A friend is a friend that will help you with a hard task. I had two such special ladies come by my house today and help me pack up my kitchen. It has started, we are getting our ducks in a row to move out. This house has been such a lovely blessing to our family. I'm sad in a way, but also excited about the next chapter for our family.

Packing box after box, I realize my over abundance of dishes. I have found myself sentimental in the dish department. I have lovely dishes from my grandmother. They are simple, chipped, and perfect. I use them when I entertain a large group, but they often sit in the cabinet that was once in the red kitchen of my sweet grandmother.

The cabinet is a story in itself. My grandfather had an extensive gun collection. My grandmother had an extensive record collection. When they were robbed, my grandmother had the gun cabinet turned into a cabinet for her crystal. It now holds the beautiful dishes I'm sure she scored at a yard sale.

Though many houses where I now live sport a gun cabinet, few I know are filled with dishes.

Rainy Day Fun Day

2011-03-05T07:29:00.000-08:00

We are in the middle of our missions conference. I always look forward to hearing what the Lord is doing around the world. We have had the privilege of hearing Dr. Pratt speak. Last night he gave such a wonderful challenge to our family. To Jason and I, specifically, the challenge was to step out in faith and trust God.

It's a wonderful challenge, necessary, but hard to live. At the end of this month, Jason is leaving his current position, we are moving across town, and we are entering the unknown. It's exciting and scary. It is causing me to grow in my trust for our future.

My control and fear are being exposed. Facing the unknown a little beat up and tired shows you where you have let down your guards. Choosing faith and trust now instead of fear and control will be a daily challenge. One that, I pray, will deepen my dependence on Jesus for my life.

Is stress unbelief?

2011-03-03T10:24:00.000-08:00

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp"The fear is suffocating, terrorizing, and I want the remedy, and it is trust. Trust is everything. If fear keeps our lives small, does a life that receives all of God in this moment grow large too?"

There are books that are amazing in their content and their timeliness. This beautiful book has been both. More than that, each chapter has, each day, given me the strength to see that day for the joy exists within it.

Today, this book caused me grief. The grief that I long for in my mundane. The teller of the story uses her journey to strengthen me for mine. And the only strength I have is in my repentance of sin and dependence on Christ.

The chapter today equated stress to lack of faith. Lack of trust in Christ being directly correlated to stress in your life. An unrelenting of control and desire to hold tightly to a hurt, a burden, a fear.

Today the shower of forgiveness and grace was just what I needed. I needed her experience of lacking faith to gently point our my own lack of faith. I have a long way to go, but having light shine in the darkness is life giving refreshment to my aching, fearful, stress ridden bones. The joy of trust, faith, Christ Himself, can now enter into the exposed and repented of sin. Praise be. May I so enjoy the freedom of forgiveness and Christ that I flee from picking up control and stress.

Thank you Ann Voskamp, you have no idea how your transparency has freed this sinner today!

Ode to Today

2011-03-02T11:58:00.001-08:00

Ode to my oldest
tallish and strong
perfect height to hug my middle tight
tender and loving
unkindness confuses
loudest laugh in the house
junkie of fun and now

Ode to number two
silly faced picture taker
Full of quiet smiles
tight muscles and elbows
keeper of the tally
sharp and knowing
memory for the family
creative and quiet
diminutive and life giving

Ode to the boy
pronoun confused
player of work
protector of my snuggles
feircest in loving
quick to defend
keeper of dimples on your knuckles
your daddy without pain

Ode to my baby
head full of cowlicks
toothy grin
lover of my V neck shirt
content among many
tough but tender
lover of the sisterhood
needy of the brother
sweet baby for us all

Friend Test

2011-03-01T05:02:00.001-08:00

Mark 2

Many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."

I read this part of scripture in utter amazement. I love these men. First, I love that they had not discarded the paralytic man, they loved him. They loved him very much. They also knew the power of Jesus. They knew he could heal their hurting friend, with this great effort they were asking Jesus, would you please heal him.

After reading this today, I turned to Jason and asked, do I have these friends? Then I had to ask, am I this friend? Am I someone that knows the unbelievable power, grace and love of Christ to heal, that I would inconvenience myself, work hard, and bring my friend, by whatever means, in the presence of Jesus. The only healer of our souls? I know He can do it, but do I bring the hurting, broken and friendless before Him, and ask, will you please?

I'm the friend that will keep your kids, cook you a meal, tell you if you have lipstick on your teeth, but I want to be this friend. This friend that will bring the truth of Jesus, that will be creative in bringing you to him. The one that will give the loudest cheer when you stand up from your broken, paralytic state when the healer has done His best. I want to be the loudest one rejoicing. It is something great to strive for today! Join me!!

Job Description

2011-02-28T07:48:00.000-08:00

After a long weekend, Jason and I had a fun day planned. The kids were all well taken care of and we were going to spend the day at the Biltmore Estate together. The weekend was so busy I hadn't spent a lot of time looking forward to it, but when this morning rolled around I was tickled to be getting away with the one I love best.

On our way to dropping off the little ones with friends, we turned a corner, and Story turned her stomach. And big brother, being a sympathetic one, he joined her in relieving himself of his breakfast. Jason and I looked at each other, smiled and turned the car around. Some things just don't need to be talked about. We know our job and we love it.

Home now, it seems we had a case of too much dairy for breakfast paired with a long car trip dropping off siblings at school spelled disaster for my carsick prone babies. But you know what, this is the day I prefer. This is my job.. And what a great job it is!

I'm blessed to be the:

best lap in the house
one who knows just where to put a kiss
cleaner of vomit
the buyer of treats for the sick
the reader of books
the one who will believe your made up hurt so you can sport a cool new band-aid
turn the music loud for a dance party
let you stick your arm down my shirt (you know who you are little baby girl)
know when your heart is hurting and encourage your tears
wash your clothes
wash your face
who daily demonstrates and shows you how much I love your daddy
cook your favorite meal
who will apologize when I'm struggling with kindness
who will confront you lovingly when your are struggling with kindness
will join you in prayer for a farm
sweep under your chair and wonder if any made it in your mouth
I'm the one the Lord chose to be a steward of your heart, to point you to Him, to show you tangible acts of His love, to read you His instruction, to be with you when you want me, and to be with you when you don't want me. I get to be the constant presence in your lives little ones until the Lord decides otherwise.
IT IS THE VERY BEST JOB IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!! There is no amount of money that could be offered to me to cause me to want to be anything else!!

Joy, I have decided to find you today. To find you everyday. The more I look the easier it is to find you. And where I find you in the nooks and cranies of my day, behind it, I find my heart thankful. Unbelieveably thankful... Grumpy, you are not welcome. Sorry, I'm just not going to feed you lunch today.

New Toy

2011-02-26T05:12:00.000-08:00

Jason and I recently entered into a big debate over our phones. It took me forever to commit to what I wanted. I'm talking about our phone plans. Jason for years passed up his upgrades and stuck with his ghetto little phone. We called it his toy phone. I basically went through the same phone three different times. My phones didn't really have a chance. So when the new iphone came out, well, I had played with my sister's phone in Napa. It was fun, but I wasn't sure I wanted one. Then we realized we would get it really inexpensively. Then my phone bit the dust. Well, we canceled our house phone and I signed up for a new fancy phone. I tell you it was worth it for the pictures alone. I'm a fan of the camera! Big fan. Jason had to convince me, but I'm so glad he did! So here is a little sampling of my toy.

Lakeism

2011-02-22T15:41:00.000-08:00

Lake: "Mom, I ate the sea weed in my pasta."
Me: "that was spinach son."

Favorite Bagger

2011-02-22T11:24:00.000-08:00

I love a small town, and I particularly love the daytime bagger at my local grocers. He always insists on helping me outside with my groceries, and some days he adds a little off color joke to the mix. Sometimes they are off color in a way that gets my blood flowing and upset, but I love Mr Larry. I love him. He's gentle and funny, and reminds me of Jimmy Durante. He is light hearted and full of mischievous smiles.

Well, today, I just happened to have extra time waiting for something. I turned to Larry and said how are you today Mr Larry? His jovial smile was gone, he turned to me and said, "sad, I lost my wife two weeks ago, and I'm terribly lonely. I know she's better now, but I miss her."

I gathered my groceries, said a prayer, and left. My heart ached for Mr Larry, but I was also struck by something. His frank venerability. He didn't wait a year to show me his heart, I didn't have to go through a battery of trust tests to learn his grief, he simply gave me the gift of his hurt. I felt extremely grateful.

Some people are so hard edged and mistrusting. I understand, I struggle wanting to be that way, but the gift of transparent living is just that living. I feel more connected to Larry, more curious about his heart, at the ready to be praying for him. Why? Because he showed himself. He was venerable. What a precious gift given to a stranger.

Why fake happy when we face hurts of a thousand kinds? Why not love your nearest neighbor enough to speak from your heart?

Too Much Information

2011-02-22T08:09:00.000-08:00

We have a few children who have struggled in the big potty department. I was a bit anal retentive as a child, so I work to be very patient with my children. But big potty issues are a big deal. I have noticed many of my friends face problems with big potty with their children, but you rarely hear about it. Either a child will refuse to go, or they go in their pants, or they use it as a place for control. Our issues have never been severe, but as a mama, I feel it's my job to keep up with my kids in the output department.

Well, a funny thing has recently happened with sweet baby number four, and I'm sure when she grows and reads this she will need therapy that I'm writing this. It's just too cute not share.

In an effort to take away any stigma from big potty being bad. Whenever I change a diaper, I kept noticing the elder siblings in the room were turning up their noses at her. Sometimes making little stinky comments. I don't blame them, big potty stinks.

Well, I started cheering every time Story would have a big potty. A great big HOORAY STORY, POOPY!!! Well lately, I will be working somewhere in the house, and I will hear suddenly hear Story let out a great big HOORAY and clap! I know then she has done her business. Now if that isn't just too cute, I don't know what is?

We should all cheer on our big potty! It would make this world a little more friendly.

Joy Teacher

2011-02-22T04:28:00.000-08:00

Matthew 18:1-5
At the time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

These verses have always reminded me of my grandmother. She had a childlike love, not a childish love, but one that was full of joy. As I grew older, and learned of the suffering she faced in her life, I wondered at the joy she exhibited so freely. I know now it was grace, but then, it was a wonder to behold. I admired my grandma, I wanted to grow up to be like her; I wanted to laugh hard like she did.

After I had my last baby, my grandma had declined very much, but I knew her favorite thing was a baby. I asked Jason to leave me alone with grandma and bring the big kids later. I placed Story Jane on her lap and her eyes just grew in delight. She did what she always did with each of my babies, she clucked her tongue at her. She looked at her and said, "Mercy, mercy, mercy." And later an assistant asked grandma what she thought, she simply said, "wonderful."

I have a growing list of people I feel like I don't deserve to know. That the knowing of the person is pure grace alone. She was the first one on that list. She taught me the importance of seeking after that deep belly laugh in my day. She taught me to play to utter exhaustion, and she taught me about pudding pops. And the moment I met Christ, I immediately knew that was what made my grandma different. She showed me Christ for years without ever mentioning His name. She didn't need to.

This Blessed Day

2011-02-21T13:43:00.000-08:00

There is joy in today, and I have decided to look for it.
Joy in a lunch with a friend who shares a love of Indian food and Jesus
Joy when my first born woke up and leaned over to give me a kiss without being asked
Joy taking the shirt off my baby and seeing her little arms rise up to help me
Joy in a bathtub full of my babies, that is dirty with the fun of their day
Joy in watching a little naked cutie toot running to a bath with her sister
Joy driving down the road, looking back and seeing my son looking through binoculars
Joy stopping the car and the kids asking to stay, to finish the praise song we were singing
Joy when my daughter says, "Mom thanks for the ice cream treat, this was really fun."
Joy in really having fun in the moment
May I live in the love that is mine today!
Joy that is ours in the midst of struggle as Christ abides in our mundane moments of today.
Added pictures from two years ago, to remind me how time is constant; I want my time to be spent in the presence of Christ, seeking the grace for each and every moment.

Death by Ministry be Eugene Cho

2011-02-21T03:52:00.000-08:00

Is pastoral ministry a dangerous profession? Eugene Cho shares the facts.
Several years ago, I spent several hours per week doing research (and meeting with other pastors) about pastoral health and vitality for my denomination.

I chose to spend some time doing that for selfish reasons. I was and am still learning how to take better care of myself in ministry (as evidenced by the scary picture above) – while completely acknowledging that sometimes, it’s not supposed to feel right. We all know that work…well…is supposed to be laborious. And those in ministry know that ministry in itself is difficult. There’s no way to get around it, but…

What I learned was pretty shocking and heartbreaking, but one of the conclusions I came to was that as ministry leaders, pastors, and other pursuers of God’s work, it helps to understand some of the challenges ahead and to be proactive rather than reactive.

Yesterday, I posted Part I of this post entitled, Why Is Being a Pastor So Unhealthy. The reasons are complex, and I’ll acknowledge that when one looks for “doom and gloom,” you’ll find some discouraging things. I can focus an entry purely on the joys and blessings of pastoral ministry and feel confident I can write a compelling piece. But these statistics (and stories that many of us are aware of) and our personal stories are hard to ignore.

Here’s a summary of what I learned and shared:

There are varying reports from different sources, but I believe most will agree that the ministerial profession (life as pastors) is now considered one of the most dangerous or unhealthiest professions. It’s usually rated last or second to last. Read this from a local Northwest minister, Mark, on a comment on an earlier post:

“At the first church I served, we had an insurance agent who was a member of the congregation. When I went to see him about some auto insurance needs, he said 'Hey, wanna see something that will scare the crap out of you?'…He pulled out a form that had various professions rated for their risk of giving life insurance policies to…Anyway, to make a lengthening story shorter, he showed me that clergy members were in the same category as Deep Sea Welders and Loggers as the second highest risk group to give life insurance policies to. We were behind crab fishermen but ahead of munitions workers.

It was a little disturbing to know that statistically I was gonna die due to my profession before someone who builds explosives. This was back in 1994; the statistics may be better (or worse) now.”

If you don’t believe the above comment, read some of these statistics:

Forty-eight percent of them think their work is hazardous to their family’s well being. Another 45.5% will experience burnout or depression that will make them leave their jobs. And 70% say their self-esteem is lower now than when they started their position. They have the 2nd highest divorce rate among professions. Who are they? They are pastors. Here are some more overwhelming statistics from this article.

80% of pastors say they have insufficient time with spouse and that ministry has a negative effect on their family.
40% report a serious conflict with a parishioner once a month.
33% say that being in ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
75% report they’ve had a significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
58% of pastors indicate that their spouse needs to work either part time or full time to supplement the family income.
56% of pastors’ wives say they have no close friends.
Pastors who work fewer than 50 hrs per week are 35% more likely to be terminated.
40% of pastors considered leaving the pastorate in the past three months.
Feeling dizzy? Take a breath. Here are some more statistics:

Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.
Fifty percent of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.
Eighty percent of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.
Fifty percent of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
Eighty percent of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.
Seventy percent of pastors constantly fight depression.
Almost forty percent polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.
Seventy percent said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons. [compiled by Darrin Patrick]
While I love being a pastor and even more, being called to be a pastor, I want folks to know how incredibly difficult it is at times to handle the complexities and stress of being a minister. Finally, at the age of 39, I feel more at peace at how to create boundaries, love my church, better care for my wife and children, support my fellow staff, handle criticism, etc. but there are times, I feel clueless and overwhelmed. I’ve been having occasional visitors from a blog started by and for pastors’ wives [couldn't find one for pastors' husbands]. Some of their comments have been difficult to read because they hit so close to home. I will not post a link to their blog here, but here are two comments:

“Oh, and the financial part is tough. We live on poverty level. I don’t know how we are going to pay all the bills sometimes, much less buy groceries. The Lord always comes through, though, and on a really tough week, someone in the church will anonymously give us a gift. We have no in between at our church. It’s either people trying to help us out (it’s all there what we make each week – in black and white), or it’s people that have this attitude - ‘Pastors are supposed to suffer and sacrifice. It’s part of the job.’ Has anyone else noticed that mentality? I don’t know where it comes from, and it is one of my biggest pet peeves. Pastors aren’t supposed to drive nice cars, have nice houses, or buy new clothes. And we are always supposed to be worried about making ends meet - I wonder if it is just half of my church that thinks that way.”

Here’s the second comment:

“Today my son approached my husband and randomly said, 'I guess you’re going back to church now.' And he wasn’t going anywhere! During seminary, he would walk around the house saying, 'Bye bye, Daddy. Bye bye, daddy!' So sad, but very true. It’s definitely a calling, isn’t it? I told my husband the other day: 'In my classes that I took to prepare me to be a minister’s wife, they told me over and over again, ‘it is the loneliest job in the world,’ but I never realized it until we were in the role…'"

While I feel solid support from my staff, my elder board, and the church as a whole, I know that many of my peers do not feel this way.

Simply, pastors are often underpaid, underappreciated, and at times, undermined.

There is strain on their marriages and families. Two other incredibly real factors that add complexities to the ministerial calling are: 1) the cultural complexity and dynamic of the 21st century and 2) the nebulous but real nature of the spiritual realm and battle. The reality is that being a pastor is not just merely a job nor should it be one. Ministry is a calling. It’s both amazing and incredibly difficult. While it isn’t my desire to overdramatize the significance of ministry, I do believe that the Evil One seeks to impede and harm the work that is to take place through ministers and pastors.

As for the “cultural complexity of the 21st century,” I think this quote captures my sentiment:

“My viewpoint tends to be more organizational, so my take on being a pastor is that it is an impossible job. Here you are asked to be the lead preacher and teacher, available for counseling sessions, leading a staff of people that can span such responsibilities as missions and janitorial, serving as the public face for your organization in the community, networking with other leaders at Christian conferences and denominational gatherings. That’s a lot of hats!…Let’s finally consider the financial issues. I don’t believe pastors are paid very well, so that’s obviously a downer. And if you are paid well, and sometimes even if you aren’t, that has its own issues, for congregants can quite easily feel they own you, since they’re paying your way. What other organization is the person at top in such an awkward financial relationship with his or her co-workers and clients?” [h/t Lee H]

My point is very simple:

Please care, pray, and love your pastors (and church staff) in your churches.

Seriously, give them a nice pay raise, more time off, regular opportunities to get away for even a day retreat to pray, buy them some dinner certificates, honor their spouses, love their children, pray for them, and regularly share your appreciation and affirmation.

Now, I know that this can easily be intended to perpetuate the victim language or mentality, but it’s a two-way street. Churches must seek to honor and care for their pastors and staff and build healthy structures to ensure such care. Similarly, pastors and their families must make choices to be holistically healthy! We must rest, Sabbath, enjoy God, love the Scriptures not simply for the sake of sermon preparations, be in deep friendships and community, exercise, work on our jump shot, continue to be a reader and learner, love and honor our spouses, nurture our children, laugh and have fun, eat healthy and drink good refreshments [use your imagination here], examine and repent of any possible addictions, and [add your contribution here].

We need to lean on God, stop our self-sufficiency, and repent of the idolatry to please all those around us. Easier said than done, but it needs to begin somewhere. Why not now?

Some good news:

Despite the intense nature of pastoral ministry, it is also immensely fulfilling. Huh? It makes total sense to me. According to a recent survey, the top five professions are clergy, physical therapists, firefighters, education administrators, and painters/sculptors:

Clergy ranked by far the most satisfied and the most generally happy of 198 occupations. Eighty-seven percent of clergy said they were “very satisfied” with their work, compared with an average 47 percent for all workers. Sixty-seven percent reported being “very happy,” compared with an average 33 percent for all workers. Jackson Carroll, Williams professor emeritus of religion and society at Duke Divinity School, found similarly high satisfaction when he studied Protestant and Catholic clergy, despite relatively modest salaries and long hours.

“They look at their occupation as a calling,” Carroll said. “A pastor does get called on to enter into some of the deepest moments of a person’s life, celebrating a birth and sitting with people at times of illness or death. There’s a lot of fulfillment.” [read the entire article]

So while pastoral ministry is at times exhausting, draining, depressing, and overwhelming, it’s also meaningful and fulfilling.

May God grant you grace, courage, and strength.

God bless you pastors. God bless your spouses and your children. May you bless your flock and may you be blessed by them. And together, may you bless the Lord as you seek to bless His creation.

Eugene Cho is the co-founder (with his wife) and executive director of One Day’s Wages—“a movement of People, Stories, and Actions to alleviate extreme global poverty.” He is also the founding and lead pastor of Quest Church and the founder and executive director of Q Cafe—a non-profit community cafe and music venue in Seattle. Eugene is considered one of the prominent bloggers on issues of justice, faith, ministry and utilizing social media for good. You can follow him via his blog or Twitter.

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Ironic

2011-02-15T05:46:00.000-08:00

The best dad I know, who happens to live in my home, went to a parenting class today. It seemed ironic, but then again, what makes him great is that he is constantly growing.

Today, Ella's school had a class to make a craft for daddies and daughters. For Jason, it was time to spend with his firstborn. Jason loves his children with intentional love, taking time with each to make them know how special and important they are. I often see him holding one of our four kids and speaking truth to them. Truth of his love for them, but more importantly the love of their eternal Father.

The other day, he had to do some hard loving to a child who needed correction. That evening as we were praying as a family, I heard to new soft heart of my child, asking the Lord to give her a heart that would be willing to repent. A heart that understood God's great love, and that she would desire to obey. Her voice was soft and sweet, longing to know what was right in her life. She had not been pushed away and made to feel shame in the correction of her daddy, but rather, drawn close and loved extravagantly. Certainly, their were tears, but there was also much love and grace present.

The Lord loves us like that. He draws us to Himself, corrects us, and then fills the emptiness that was once unrepented sin, with the goodness of Himself. May we all seek a soft heart today. May we all have a heart that longs to grow and be teachable.

Faith

2011-02-15T03:56:00.000-08:00

"Faith is not believing in my own unshakable belief. Faith is believing an unshakable God when everything in me trembles and quakes....Beth Moore

The story that is presented in Mark 9 of the boy with an unclean spirit really strikes me as important. The father was desperate to save his son. You can hear the agony as he describes the pain his son has endured at the hand of the spirit. He is at the end of himself. The disciples could not help him, and now the father is speaking directly to Jesus. He's hurting, at his end, and begging for a solution. The father looks at him and says, "But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." Jesus said to him, "If you can! All things are possible for one who believes." Then the father cried out, "I believe; help my unbelief."

I love how Jesus has compassion on this man. The humility in this man comforts me immensely. I love the honesty of his weakness and the compassion of the response and the healing of the son. So often humble weakness is seen as that, weakness, but truly, in our weakness we seek the Lord for strength. I know that it is the Lord alone that can apply faith in my life. I know I can only face my unbelief with the compassion of Christ. It is His love that reveals to me daily my need and weakness, and by His grace I am granted faith. Faith to face hard things armed with grace to do what is right.

Heal me today of my unbelief Lord, and help me to see where you can do immensely more than we can think or imagine.

Good Morning Jesus

2011-02-15T03:23:00.000-08:00

My sweet youngest woke me up early wanting her mama to warm her cold feet. Like me, she gets in bed and promptly takes off her socks at night. Like me, when they are cold, she requires someone to warm them for her. Thus, sweet chubby baby feet on me at four thirty this morning. Feet warmed, she out and I'm wide awake replaying my last months in my mind. I sometimes cannot believe some of what has happened when I think it, so I realize I need to get up and get some time with Jesus.

Sunday Jason announced that at the end of March we will be leaving a place we have served, loved, prayed for and hurt with for the past 7 years. It's hard to comprehend leaving, so I try not to think too often upon it. I know it's in God's good plan, but I struggle with seeing the goodness in it. Here are the places that comforted me this morning.

Jeremiah 32:
They shall be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.

And Psalm37... Loved the entire thing, but will give you the highlights

Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

Jeremiah Love

2011-02-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

The book of Jeremiah has been such an encouragment and comfort to me. I'm not really sure what drew me to it, but I think it may have been the Holy Spirit. It has been sad with me and offered me much needed promises. Someone recently told me Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet and that he did not see one turned heart in the entirety of his ministry. Bless him.

Jeremiah 31:31-34
"Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the housse of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the Lord. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their god, and they shall be my people. and no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and ech his brother saying, 'know the Lord, for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."

Grace

2011-02-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

There will be the grace for even this... I hear myself saying that often. I hear myself thinking it. I look into the eyes of a hurting friend and say it. Grace, that thing which I cannot comprehend, but I know I need in spades.

Hard things are just that, hard. The life of the believer is not filled with promises of happiness. I remember one sermon years ago quoting Bob Dylan. The interviewer asked Bob, are you happy? His response went something like this, "that's stupid yuppy talk." I know I totally hacked the quote, but I love the truth in it. Happiness is not the goal of the believer. The Westminster Confession puts it best. The chief end of man is to love God and enjoy Him forever.

Love and enjoy are extremely pleasant words. I do not believe that the choice to love and enjoy the Lord always equals happiness in this world. Moments of happiness and victory, no doubt, but it's also having the strenth to find the grace to do hard things.

These next months for our family will include hard things for myself, my guy and my children. He didn't promise it wouldn't hurt and be confusing and painful, but He has promised to be right there with me as I face them with His strength.

Sometimes I look at someone who has suffered greatly and have a longing to know the things of Jesus they know from their struggle. Sometimes I see a loved one suffer and I think, "please, no Jesus, don't make me learn that." But it's not my choice is it? I get to live in submission to the plan that has been laid out for me before the beginning of time. It's a good plan, it's my plan, and it's authored by a Father that has good things in mind. May I seek the lesson in the suffering, find the joy in knowing Him, and rest in His will.

Undeserving

2011-02-06T10:08:00.000-08:00

1 Peter 2:2-25
He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

I have something in common with the Pioneer Woman, we both love to smell the heads of our children. I must confess, church today was an hour of smelling the top of my sons head. I worshiped the Lord this morning with my son on my lap, smelling his head and feeling full of gratitude for all Jesus has done for me. Week upon week He gives me the grace to do hard things. And to do hard things and feel grateful at the same time is simply a gift I cannot comprehend.

He will soon be too old for my lap, and his head won't always smell like baby shampoo, but today he's on my lap smelling like boy. He still has bracelets on his wrists from his last remaining baby chub, but I think it won't last until spring. He loves fiercely and is extremely loyal. Last night when praying with the kids about a future move, his sentimental heart broke for the love of a friend he doesn't want to leave behind. I know he will be okay, because today, I know I serve a God who gave it all up for me.

During communion, Jason and I always explain to our children what we are doing. Today it seemed that Lake was really interested in understanding. I explained the bread, and my own struggle with sin. How He reminds us of what He did to save us. I turned to Lake, and told him, "Lake, guess who Jesus was thinking about up on that cross?" He said, "I don't know mommy." "You, you son." I had to close my eyes to keep from crying.

So maybe I didn't hear the sermon, but I know what gratitude and love smell like. I know a little boy whose heart is a little nearer today. As is mine...

Very undeserving of the grace placed on me this day...

Treasured

2011-01-31T06:47:00.000-08:00

Last night I snuck out to get a few provisions to make a friend a meal. As I was walking through the store, I saw the most beautiful sight. I saw this big huge guy carrying this little baby girl. It wasn't even so much that he was carrying a baby, but how he was carrying her. It was clear the daddy treasured his baby girl. The little girl, all decked out in pink, was sitting in the palm of his hands facing out in a sitting position.

Next to the proud father was an equally proud mama. Their love for their baby was delicious. I felt like a stalker. It seemed that everyone knew them, or maybe it was just that they introduced their baby to everyone. Their was something in that daddy that just melted my heart. His tenderness and pride made him seem seven feet tall to me. I couldn't stop staring. I couldn't stop following them.

I sometimes see pictures like this and feel sad, but last night I felt so grateful. Though I may long for a nearer relationship of tenderness, kindness and love to my father; I have a Father in heaven that certainly does. He walks with me in the palm of His hand, and with great pride says, "she's mine."

It's a good place to be, in the palm of my Fathers hand. May I rest secure there, just as secure as that sweet baby in pink rested. She sat tall in the hands of her father. She knew she could trust him. Why spend a wasted moment in worry when such a good Daddy has me so near to His heart?

2011-01-29T21:38:00.001-08:00

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, Excerpt

I just read this chapter to this beautiful book. Not only does Ann write beautifully, she writes very honestly. I cried through most of this chapter, and yet felt so thankful for her story and perspective. Take the time... You won't regret it!

Ambition

2011-01-29T11:40:00.000-08:00

Today was the best day ever! Fire, bike riding and pb&j! We soaked up some much needed vitamin D! We played, I read my Bible, the girls played house in the backyard. It was fantastic.

At one point I looked over at my son. He walked up to a huge oak tree and wrapped his arms around it. I could tell he was considering how to climb the tree. It is a huge one, and it's lowest limbs were way out of reach. But the ambition and ability to think he could do it was a sight to see. I wish I had such gumption. Every time I face any kind of trial, I back down, melt down, struggle and fret. I have lost some of what was once fearless in me. Seeing his little arms wrapped around that tree, I realized something about age has been lost on me. I was once invincible. Maybe someday I will be again.

Helpless in Loving

2011-01-22T12:59:00.000-08:00

There are moments in life where praying feels like such a comfort, but I struggle with thinking it's enough at times. I just had a call from a family member to tell me of a close family member that has been admitted to the hospital.

I love prayer, I believe in it, and depend deeply on it, but right now, I'm struggling wanting more. I want to be close enough to run up to the hospital, which is, oh, a quick eight hours away. Ugh. I love prayer, but I want prayer and a chat with the on-call doctor and to look in the eyes of the one I love.

I love prayer, I love it, but I tend to be so much more a doer in my faith. This is a great muscle for me to flex, but my love in action is struggling with wanting to load up my car.

Please pray with me, someone I love is in the hospital with heart pain.

Character

2011-01-19T07:46:00.000-08:00

On my way to pick up the girls from school, I listened to the entire "I Have a Dream" speech by Martin Luther King on NPR. By the time I made it to the school, I was a weeping mess. The words were cutting, true, and in so many ways, he speaks of realities and dreams that are unmet.

When it came to the part where he talks about the dreams for his four little children to be judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin, I just hurt, grieved, and longed for that dream for my children.

But as I mopped today, I realized, I don't live that way. I was mopping, thinking, I'm a good wife when I mop. Cleaning a toilette, and thinking somehow I have done well. But what of my character? Do I judge myself by the content of my character or do I look at arbitrary outward acts to find meaning?

How to I speak such a truth into the life of a small child? How do I develop character of behaviour? How do I champion integrity over performance? How do I encourage real depth of character over being seen as having character? Authentic living, it's hard. It's harder than having clean floors. For me it is anyway.

Library

2011-01-18T11:50:00.000-08:00

I must confess, I have a love hate relationship with our library. Seriously, maybe even a hate hate relationship with it. But I have to include love, because I LOVE books. So it's a building full of the things I most love in this world, but have serious angst when entering it.

This story starts a long way back, in way way back time. It seemed to me that the people of this place had no interest in sharing their books. They dissappointed me when I moved to town and they didn't have every Pulitzer winning book. My snobbery knew no bounds. Seriously, a friend of mine and I were working our way through the list in my previous town.. Ended that endeavor.

It seemed that they didn't get the momentous occasion of my daughter being old enough for a library card. Like it was just boring old business. No matter, I have more energy for enthusiam than a theme park.

I always thought myself very generous in accruing late fees to add to their coffers. They didn't see it that way. I didn't much like them; they didn't much like me.

Until recently, they went and hired on a person who is friendly and patient. She knows my children by name and commpliments my book basket every time I go. She even reads the books and shares her favorite titles with me. She smiles. She sees me in the grocery store and speaks to me. So my hate/ hate problem is simply that. My problem. Because right now, I have a great book, a hot cup of tea, two children napping, and don't judge me, chili cheese fritos. Crazy combo, but I'm so happy.

So library people that don't like me much, I forgive you. I'll forgive you even more if this book turns out to be as good as it seems. I may even pay you a visit again real soon. You even sent my friend that broke her leg flowers... I do realize I'm the mean one. Check out my last post about punching someone in the throat... I may be the problem in this relationship...

Excuse me as I try not to punch you in the throat

2011-01-17T13:32:00.000-08:00

Did I really say that out loud? Was that my outside voice? Did I really say I was going to punch someone in the throat? Well, my inside voice said it, and my fingers typed it.

One of my all time favorite grizzled old friends one day said to me, "we sure lost a lot when we lost a punch in the nose!" I laughed so hard, but I think I get it now.

Recently in a phone conversation, I allowed myself a rare moment of venerability and shared a struggle.. Okay, I'll share it now. I'm struggling waiting. Waiting on our future, waiting on a job, waiting on what God would have for us. I'm struggling with contentment in my present, though I have had great moments of peace and joy in our present circumstance.

Right now feels like a gift with the people HERE I love so much, but I also sense the future sadness of goodbye that sits quietly in the corner of every relationship I have.

So in my moment of venerability... The response... Well, I'll be very ungracious and say... They simply said, "I love to wait." In itself, it's really not bad. I'm really wicked and depraved to want to punch them in the throat. But there you have it, my wicked heart. I held my tongue, kind of. I was a bit snarky, and said, wow, sure wish I loved waiting. I don't have that gift.... But in my mind... Good punch in the throat would do this conversation some good.

Then today I came across this verse... It was from a beautiful parable in Matthew 20, go check it out. But the specific verse that has stuck with me all day was verse 15... "Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me?"

I love it, I belong to Him, He is allowed to do what He chooses with my future. He is good. ALL the time! So, don't worry if you tell me you love to wait for things.. I won't punch you in the throat, I'll try and be gracious.

Friendship and Personal Agony

2011-01-16T05:21:00.000-08:00

This Christmas was an amazing time for our family. The snow came in just as we were opening presents, and the snow kept us together for several restful days (church was canceled). We play, we slept, we played some more and we ate.

In planning for Christmas this year, I really agonized over what our presents should be. Usually I plan way in advance, have exactly in mind what I'm going to get each child. Well, this year being a tough one for Jason and I, well, I had no plan. So we decided to send me into black Friday and see what I could find.

Well, it happened that I came up on a guy holding the last two Nintendo ds units that were super cheap. I put them in my bag, walked around the store and agonized. Are we a video game family? Will my kids become consumed? Will they ever speak to me again? Will they be lost behind that little screen?

Well, I made the purchase and came home and talked with my guy. We both had gaming units growing up. Not very cool ones, but we had them. We decided at the end of the day we still get to be the parents, and with all the road trips coming up, it wasn't a bad idea.

So now it's been about a month since Christmas. They play their games, maybe, every other day. Mostly when people come over. Go figure. Only once did I have to have my child take a break from her playing.

Well, recently, a very special friend of our family had a terrible leg break in a sledding accident. As I was talking to her mom, I learned that she was really discouraged. I was making dinner for the family, so I sat the girls down and asked them to consider sharing their new toy, as their friend could not leave her wheelchair and was bored.

Immediately, Harp ran to get hers. She wanted to be the one to share because Ella had already used her Christmas money to buy their friend a present. I was so proud! They both were so generous with their hurting friend.

When we went to deliver the meal Ella was so gentle and loving with her friend. Harp will get to go next week. I love kindness... Love it!

Happy Little Nest

2011-01-10T11:48:00.000-08:00

Is there anything better than being warm when it is frigid outside? Hearing your kids create fun out of cars, pillows, and blankets? Cooking up something hot and tasty that bubbles for hours and hours?

I love my baby birds all home in my nest. It makes me excited about our possible plans to homeschool if we move.

Slow Mornings!

2011-01-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

I love Saturday mornings and snow days. I love having nothing much to do days. Though I think in the back of my mind I should be cleaning, I'm going to sit and enjoy nothing much. I'll enjoy an extra cup of coffee with my best friend, I watch my kids create fun from nothing, and I'll sit. Sometimes I get up to eat something (well, I do that part a lot).

I love a slow day. Maybe I'll craft something, maybe I'll find the bottom of my laundry room, maybe I'll finish reading Jeremiah, maybe I'll finger paint with the kids. Who knows.. Nothing pressing on my time today. It's the best kind of day.

10 inches of snow, bring it!! You know, I may create some food from the pantry for lunch. Maybe make biscuits with the kids.... Who knows. It's cold outside, but under my quilt, I'm content as content can be! My baby just brought me her Christmas party dress to put on. For her it's a party day.

Amazing Milestone

2011-01-05T09:39:00.000-08:00

Harper Joy Sonnet,

Dear sweet second daughter, everyday you bless my heart. I so enjoy your spunk, and quiet friendly ways. You are silly and shy, and you have been so excited about reading for such a long time. I have a little secret... You have been able to read for a long, long time, but your dad and I slowed you down a little to give you a good foundation in phonics. I love how excited you are about reading!

I pray you grow to love reading as much as your daddy and I do. My prayer is that you love God's word and that you make the time in your day to love and learn from the word of God. I pray that the word changes you and deepens you.

Harper, I love you. I love hearing you read. You are a very bright and energetic young lady. It is such a blessing to be your mother. It's an exciting time for you. I love how you are growing in such grace sweet girl.

Mommy

High Calling...the morning routine

2011-01-04T05:07:00.001-08:00

Some mornings I fail at the high calling of loving my children well. The first step to doing morning well is me being the first one awake. When I take the time to spend time with Jesus, I am much more on the ready to love my babies well.

This morning as I woke my children to get ready for their days, I observed four very different personalities. One woke kind and motivated to get going. Another woke crying and struggled at every turn. The next, jumped out of bed and started running, eyes not really opened, but running nonetheless. The last woke clingy, needing touch. I can look at the list of my waking children and it is evident which personalities lend themselves to be easier to love. But like I previously stated, as a mom, it's not my calling to love only the lovable. Interesting to that, if the Lord didn't love me in my unlovable state, where the heck would I be. Truly, I have the more difficult kind of personality in the morning myself.

So, how do I speak the gospel into our mornings? How do I bring gentleness to my crier, and love to my clingy child. How do I slow down my rusher, and also, how do I take time to love on the self-starter. I realize writing this, the easiest to love is sometimes the one that goes unloved, as the others are so adept at being needy. Golly, love is complicated.

I have another chance to start the day with my kids tomorrow. May I depend on the grace that is provided...

1.1.11

2011-01-01T08:53:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I just read Psalm 61. It is my prayer for this year...

Hear my cry, O God,
Listen to my prayer;
from the end of the earth I call to you
when my heart is faint.
Lead me to the rock
that is higher than I,
for you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the enemy.

Let me dwell in your tent forever!
Let me take refuge under the shelter of
your wings!

May I walk near to you in this coming year. May I take refuge in the shelter of Christ.

The Cottage Home: Laptop / Kindle / I-Pad Sleeve Tutorial

2010-12-31T12:12:00.000-08:00

The Cottage Home: Laptop / Kindle / I-Pad Sleeve Tutorial

I so so so want to make this! Autumn...think we can?

Love Today!

2010-12-31T10:27:00.000-08:00

You know the days that just feel too full of peace. Too much goodness in the simple, I'm feeling very undeserving. I'm enjoying the quiet of my home, as I watch my kids play pretend out in the back yard. Jason moved the spent Christmas tree into the yard and Lake is pretending he's cutting it down. The girls and I have been reading Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace, and I'm sure they are recreating the scenes from the beautiful story.

I'm cooking for a fish fry with friends (family) tonight, and also for a day with old friends tomorrow. I'm thinking about this moment, this delicious moment of peace and I'm so thankful.

Tonight I'm making cookies, salad, and evil dip that is going to cause me to gain 5 pounds before next weekend. And I'm cooking spaghetti for a favorite family of about 10 that will come down the mountain from Asheville tomorrow. They are the best, but the boys have gotten so big, so I'm cooking loads. My favorite thing about them is...well, one of my favorite things, is that they like strawberry jam on their garlic bread. I made sure to stock up.

I'll pass on this amazingly simple evil recipe given to me by one of the college girls in our church. It's pure college food, and I told her we can't be friends now that she introduced me.

Evil Dip

Hunk Cream Cheese (the whole hunk)
Can Chicken Breast
1 Cup Ranch Dressing
1 Cup Wing Sauce

Serve with tortilla chips, are just pour it down your throat.... Ugh, it's too good. I love it all mixed together cold. She said you can add cheese to the top and serve it hot. Not me, cold...

Happy Little Nest

2010-12-30T07:11:00.001-08:00

Having all the kids home is such a sweet gift. I love the moments with each child, hearing them play with kindness with one another. Reading books, watching movies, going to a museum, cooking, snow, snuggles, sleeping a little, it's been a ball of a break. I don't want the kids to go back...

2010 has been a Christmas break that will go down in history as one of my very most favorites!

The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller

2010-12-28T08:12:00.000-08:00

In this story (of the prodigal) the father represents the Heavenly Father Jesus knew so well. St. Paul writes: "God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not reckoning to them their trespasses." (2 Cor 5:19). Jesus is showing us the God of Great Expenditure, who is nothing if not prodigal toward us, his children. God's reckless grace is our greatest hope, a life-changing experience, and the subject of this book.

After finishing Counterfeit Gods by Keller, I was excited to jump right into Prodigal God. Last night, after a long conversation with friends and reading the introduction of this book, I felt a new excitement for understanding the gospel in this season of my life.

Recently, a young woman came to my house seeking to be resorted and encouraged in her faith. She was extremely tender hearted and repentant of her sin. She needed to be reminded of the extravagent love of the Father. It was my privledge to lavish on this dear sister in Christ. I remember something she said to me, that I have been constantly been reminded of in my tough days. She said someone asked her to specifically speak the gospel into her struggle with her sin.

As I have reflected on that amazing advice, I consider how that widom applies to me in this season of my life. Where do I need to be deepened by the gospel? Where am I forsaking the lavish love of the Father? Where am I acting like the older brother? How do I represent the gospel in my day, with my children, in my community, in my mundane moments. Sometimes I hear myself speak, and I know I must repent and seek the lavish love provided in the forgiveness in Christ.

Today, I'm going to try and speak the gospel into my life.

Epic Rap Battle!

2010-12-28T07:11:00.000-08:00

Timothy Keller: Counterfeit Gods

2010-12-27T12:19:00.001-08:00

I just finished this wonderfully convicting book. He drew so many connections from scripture to the idol factory of our hearts. It has brought new life to old stories and connected me personally to my sin struggles and the sin struggles of the many many characters in the Old Testament. I highly recommend this book. It's a short book, but, for me, not a quick read. I had to slowly digest this book, as it was highly convicting to me personally. I'll leave you with a quote...

"We think we've learned about grace, set our idols aside, and reached a place where we're serving God not for what we're going to get from him but for who he is. There's a certain sense in which we spend our entire lives thinking we've reached the bottom of our hearts and finding it is a false bottom. Mature Christians are not people who have completely hit the bedrock. I do not believe that is possible in this life. Rather, they are people who know how to keep drilling and are getting closer and closer."

Super Power!!

2010-12-27T07:28:00.000-08:00

I never knew that as I grew older I would gain super powers. I somehow knew the power of a kiss on a boo boo, but I have a new super power....Well, I guess I've always had it; it's just now I have a young man who is totally powerless to my super power mom strength.

In our house heavy in the girl department, I have one lone young man. This little guy has a powerful strong will. We go rounds with this amazing personality, working not to change it, but to focus his strength of will for good.

Every night when bedtime comes around, it feels like a certain victory getting 4 children off to bed. Jason and I regularly have a combined sigh at the miraculous once we meet on the couch after bedtime.

Here is where my mom super power is at it's height. My little guy plays hard all day, and has long since given up the whole nap business. He doesn't tire out, and he doesn't really get all that grumpy at night time. When the time comes he wants two things to get to dreamtown....His blanket and his mama.

My body heat is his kryptonite. We snuggle in, he regularly says, "mom, let's talk." These are some of the sweetest talks of my day. Last night we talked about kindness and when it's hard to be kind. He told me how his best friend "doesn't do's sin." I told him he did... He said, "no mom, him don't"....

As he gets all warmed up, he's out. Normally in less than three minutes. His sleeping face is so so sweet. I can normally head to the big girls and have mommy time with them after I get Lake out. Ella is the hardest to catch...That girl can sleep...

Some nights I dread bedtime, but I usually come away blessed. It's all attitude. what a gift these babies are to me!

Snow...Snow...Snow

2010-12-26T13:41:00.000-08:00

This morning started... Well, not like most Sunday mornings. We weren't rushed and in a dither trying to get ready for early service. The snow kept us from the regular rush of brushing hair, finding dress shoes, getting something to eat, and getting house semi-presentable for Sunday school that meets here.

Today, it was all stopped, but the Lord still had His day. Or should I say we enjoyed His day still. After a slow cup of coffee, Jason and I having time in the Word, we slowly ate breakfast with the kids, and then had a little service of our own.

Ella read Psalm 23, the kids chose hymns, and Jason shared with us about the importance of Truth from Ephesians 4. When it was all finished the preacher gave me a nice big kiss. I'm totally coming back to that church.

Jason and I brought some order to the chaos of our lingering Christmas morning all over the house.

And with Jason having a hurting back, I decked out the kids and headed to the hill. 7 inches of snow left it's beautiful mark on our back yard. The kids started as I hefted the countless bags O trash to the dumpster. That chore done, I zoomed down the hill all different ways. Frontward...backwards...with Ella on my back... You name it. Now I'm the one with the sore back.

The kids found a tree that recently fell down across the street. They climbed on it's snowy loveliness for a long time.

Now inside, I'm going to attempt a new pizza dough recipe from Pioneer Woman. We'll see I had to improvise several ingredients, as my local grocer refuses to carry arugula.

With the cold outside, and the warmth of Christmasy thoughts inside, this lowly mom has much to be thankful for this year. My blessings are countless, my babies are precious, my husband dear, and the Love of God is boundless. I'm excited of the new things I'll learn of Him this coming year. Can't wait to share pictures from this weekend. It's been a weekend that great memories are made of!! I'm not sure it gets much better than this, (this side of heaven anyway).

Love Cup

2010-12-22T06:04:00.000-08:00

Having four kids really lends itself to learning a lot about dealing with differing personalities. I'm not an expert, but everyday I have an opportunity to learn something new about relationships.

Jason and I often use the term "love cup." We have a house full of four children and two adults in constant need of filling their love cup. Our role as parents is to point them to the ultimate filler of our cups and lover of our souls, but, as parents, we are the stewards of the hearts of our children. We are to shepherd and love our children as we point them to their Saviour.

The thing about seeing these four very different children, we realize every personality comes with different abilities at getting what they need to feel loved. We have children that are very assertive at getting the love they require to feel fullfilled, and we have children who are quiet and struggle to ask or seek the love they need.

The responsibility of the parent is not simply to love the lovable child, but to seek the one that stands off on the sidlines or attempts to withdrawl. We, as parents, must know the love of God that persues with gentle love. The God that loves us in our sin, the God that is humble in pursuit, even in our stubbornness.

To love the loveable... Well, even the tax collectors do that.

The picture... Well, that has nothing to do with my post. Who doesn't want to look at a picture you wish you could take a bite out of...

Authentic Community

2010-12-16T06:55:00.000-08:00

Act 2:42-47

And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those where were being saved.

I was in bed the other night thinking about this passage. I love how in the presence of true and selfless community the Lord added to the community. In the absence of such community and love what happens? I look at the first verse... Devoted to teaching and fellowship. Devoted, that's a big word. I want this kind of authentic community and fellowship. It's a hard passage to put up to your life and examine oneself with daily...

Christmas Pressure

2010-12-14T05:09:00.000-08:00

Before we were married, someone gave us the very wise advice to not travel on Christmas. They said if we started the habit of traveling to see everyone in the beginning we would feel the obligation to continue it.

So for our family tradition we stick close to home. We spend the morning with the family and the afternoon with dear friends playing Christmas Bingo. Christmas for us has always been a relaxed time. Our children have always been realistic with their want for presents. I think I may have gone bigger than I intended this year. I just hit some good deals on black Friday.

Another tradition Jason and I started was to wrap all our presents on Christmas Eve. A friend of mine reminded me of the fact that we did that because one Christmas Harper Joy kept unwrapping the presents. Isn't it funny I have no memory of that. My friend, who gets more sleep than I do, told me about Harper so I know to believe her. From that, a fun evening with my guy was created that I look forward to every year.

Our traditions are simple, church on Christmas Eve, pajamas for presents that night, and family time together. With Jason entering the pastorate, we knew sticking close to home would be a good bet for us... When I read of the stress others face traveling, I feel thankful for the choice we made early on in our marriage.

Forgiveness

2010-12-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

From Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller

At every point in the Bible, the writers are at pains to stress that God's grace and forgiveness, while free to the recipient, are always costly for the giver. From the earliest parts of the Bible, it was understood that God could not forgive without a sacrifice. No one who is seriously wronged can "just forgive" the perpetrator. If you have been robbed of money, opportunity, or happiness, you can either make the wrongdoer pay it back or you can forgive. But when you forgive, that means you absorb the loss and the debt. You bear it yourself. All forgiveness, then, is costly.

Hard Work Pays Off

2010-12-11T05:14:00.001-08:00

The young years of child raising are difficult and sometimes a little frustrating. People often encourage being consistent in discipline, but frankly there are moments when the fruit of consistency doesn't show. We have one young person in our house who has tried me at every turn. But I remember, love is kind, and discipline is love. I prayed, I prayed, and I sometimes cried, but alas, FRUIT!!

I have seen the softening of a heart of a certain young man in my home that has brought tears to my eyes. I hear thank you mommy, excuse me, and I see countless kind kisses placed on a certain baby sister. The other day I heard Lake say to Story, "I'm going to teach you how to be kind." Music, music to my ears.

Last night when I was snuggled up to him putting him to bed, I said, "What was the best part of your day Lake?" He said, "right now." I was so content in that moment... I fell right to sleep beside him. Jason came and woke me up and put me in our bed. Could life be any better? Parenting is tough, but the joy is boundless. I love the hard mommy work that I do. I love the gift of seeing the victories in the softening of a heart. I'm blessed beyond all understanding.

When you are weary of the work... Pray, wait, and watch what the Lord will do. It is not our job to be the Holy Spirit. It's our job to give consistent, kind direction to the hearts we have been entrusted with, the Lord will do the work. I'm just not very good at waiting. I have bought into the instant results mode. But, my oh my, it was worth the wait! It always is!!

Behind!!

2010-12-10T12:33:00.000-08:00

So I'm a little behind on posting things. But I cannot deny my three fans Halloween. My babies were so cute. Lake was a blue monster, Ella was Cleopatra, Harper changed last minute into a fairy I think.. And sweet baby Story was a giraffe. Such a fun night with friends. I always look forward to it. So without further delay...two months. . here they are in all their cuteness.

Family Time

2010-12-09T11:28:00.000-08:00